


The Demise of The Dirty Mistresses Club

by Latte



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Happy Ending, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:45:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2209272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latte/pseuds/Latte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark and Lexie had a secret they kept for three months. Then something happened that sent Mark's temper through the roof and made him decide who was most important in his life.</p><p>No angst, simply the magic that was Mark and Lexie when they began and how it should have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unlocking Doors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer** I don't own any of the characters. I just decided to give them a better ending than they were given.
> 
> **Timeline** Most of this story takes place the first three months Mark and Lexie were together. The last chapter moves into a _happy_ future for them. I indicated time changes where needed.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

When Mark Sloan opened his door and saw Lexie standing in the hall, all hope that his feelings were simply hunger for a new and different woman shattered. It took him about two seconds after that to realize that he liked her, really liked her and had for a while. He finally understood why he’d listened when Derek warned him to stay away from Little Grey. 

Before he could convince her to leave, she’d pushed past him and her coat and purse hit the floor, followed by her boots and sweater. His breath caught in his chest at how beautiful she looked. Common sense told him to leave his door open, but something deep and primal moved though his gut at the thought of a casual patron of the Archfield walking through the halls, and catching a glimpse of her silky skin. 

When her tank top slid silently to join her growing pile of clothes, he gripped tightly to the small reserve of self-restraint he still possessed. He almost had his inner demons beaten until he made the mistake of looking her directly in the eyes. They were deep pools of doubt, confusion and trust. No woman ever looked at him with trust. It kicked him in the chest and shredded his control. 

He didn’t remember crossing the short distance between them, or sliding his hands over her cheeks and into her hair, but he knew he’d never forget the taste of her mouth on his or the feel of her arms around his neck. 

He knew it was wrong and for the first time in his adult life, that thought hurt. 

Then there was no time for right or wrong, there was only them, desperate, hot and hungry. Bodies pressed, lips explored, and hands tugged at clothes until his shirt and her bra were left somewhere between the living area and the bedroom.

“Aw, hell,” Mark muttered. Impatient to have her naked length stretched out beneath his, he picked her up and carried her the rest of the way to the bed. Once there, he clawed at the covers before he lay her down. Deep yearning gnawed at him as he stood looking at her half naked body. “Last chance, Little Grey,” the words rumbled out of him between ragged breaths. 

If she fled, he hoped to hell she did it quickly, because he was at the end of his restraint. 

“Teach me,” she whispered. Sitting and tucking her legs half under her, she reached for his slacks and planted hungry kisses along the flat planes of his stomach.

“Lexie,” Mark growled. Something broke deep inside of him as her lips moved against his skin and her small hands tugged at his zipper. He gripped her under the arms and tossed her further onto the bed. Seconds later he had stripped away her jeans and panties followed by his pants and boxers.

Something savage ripped through him as his body covered hers. He needed to taste and touch her everywhere. Teeth nipped, beard scratched and fingers explored as he held her tightly beneath him. 

Lexie threw her head back and arched her back, opening herself up to him completely. His name dropped from her lips in little mewing moans as his flesh assaulted hers. 

Mark froze and he looked down at the woman pinned under him. Her face was flushed and her eyes were squeezed closed as she bit her lower lip. His head fell to her shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her as if she were made of glass. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

It took her a moment to orient herself. All Lexie knew was that the incredibly wonderful things she’d been feeling had stopped. “What…what are you sorry for?” her voice cracked as she tried to keep tears at bay. Her only though was that he was regretting being here with her. “Tell me, Mark, please, what are you sorry about?” She made herself cup his face and his eyes meet hers, needing an honest answer no matter how much it hurt.

For one second he was tempted to lie to her, to make her think he wanted out, but the thought was too painful to contemplate. When he saw the same hurt reflected back in her eyes, he broke. “I’m sorry I was rough.” His voice caught on the words. 

“But…” She was confused; there was nothing rough about his touch.

“No, Little Lexie, not like that, not with you.”

Mark Sloan didn’t apologize or have regrets in bed, not before, not during, and not after.

“Shhh,” she sighed and ran her thumbs through his beard. “You weren’t…you aren’t…” At a loss for words she gave up and kissed him while rocking her hips against his to show how much she needed him.

Her mouth against his was his undoing, but this time he took it slowly, this time he forced himself to be gentle, as he got down to the business of learning Lexie Grey. 

Tears filled her eyes each time she climaxed and sobs accompanied their final mind blowing orgasm. Mark was used to that reaction, he was a skilled lover who had perfected the art of giving a woman physical pleasure. His psychiatrist had told him it was because he didn’t believe he had anything else to give. Up until now Mark had thought that was a load of crap. He’d told himself he simply enjoyed hot, sweaty, sex, now he was terrified it was true.

….Then Lexie changed the rules. 

“Your turn,” she purred, gripping his shoulders and pressing him into the bed. 

“Don’t you want me to hold you?” It was what he was used to, bed partners who needed to tie a pretty bow around physical release by cuddling as if it meant something, even when they both knew it didn’t.

“Later…” she shrugged with tears glistening on her still damp cheeks. “First I want to learn your body like you did mine.” As she spoke her fingers interlaced with his and she pressed his hands into the pillow above his head.

“Ya think you’ve got me trapped?” He smirked. She may believe she was running the show, but Mark Sloan was a man who was always in control especially in bed. Let her play her game for a while, he knew that he could have her flat on her back with his body covering hers in under three seconds, if he chose. 

“It’s a trap of your own making,” she whispered as she explored his body as thoroughly as he had hers. 

“Lexie…” he sighed as her hair slid over his skin following the trail left by her soft lips and tiny teeth.

To her joy, she discovered Mark Sloan had a ticklish spot behind his right knee and a very sensitive one on his left hip. She rolled her tongue over hard man nipples and felt him buck beneath her in response. Nipping at his navel made him gasp her name. When she moved lower, his hands dug into the sheets turning his fingers white with the effort to remain in control.

“Let go, Mark.” She stopped her ministrations to watch the struggle that was passing over his features. Lexie didn’t understand what was causing it; he appeared to be battling for his life. He’d enjoyed himself thoroughly while giving her hours of pleasure, before finally succumbing to his own needs in a wild ride that had taken her with him one more time. Why wouldn’t he take the joy she was offering him?

“I can’t!” He growled. “Damnit, not like this.” In one quick movement he grabbed her arms and pulled her up and over until she was flat on her back with his body covering hers. He couldn’t catch his breath as he spread her thighs and entered her hard and fast. His mouth covering hers, his tongue scraping her cheeks and teeth to taste all of her, feel all of her surrounding as much of him as he could. 

In a move calculated to give him back the ground he felt he’d lost, he arched and pulled back to look her in the eyes, while carefully placing his right hand on her abdomen directly above her pubic bone. Mark didn’t usually want much skin-to-skin contact with a woman when he did this little maneuver, but tonight he couldn’t make himself move his left arm, which was wrapped tightly around Lexie’s shoulder. As much as he needed to get his balance back, he couldn’t let her go. He was reminded of how small and fragile she was when the edge of his palm brushed against one of her hips and his fingers wrapped around the other. It was that reminder that kept his touch light.

The fingers of her right hand dug into his left shoulder urging him on. “Let go,” she urged. They both knew she wasn’t talking about the way he was holding her. 

He shook his head and kissed her gently as he brought back his hips.

“You can,” she whispered and pressed her free hand tightly against his much larger one, covering her abdomen, just as he thrust forward filling her completely. The weight of their joined palms caused sensations to echo through her body. She could feel him everywhere. It was the most intense intimate joining she’d ever experienced and caused deep inner contractions to spread through her as she cried out his name.

Mark was caught completely off guard, when he tumbled over the edge seconds behind Lexie. He usually timed his pleasure exactly. Years of discipline were shot to hell in a whirlwind that broke through his protective amour and left his head swimming. His arms collapsed and his mind disconnected from his body. He was naked and vulnerable and unable to remember any patented, crass Mark Sloan remark to offset the situation. Instead he simply held on tightly to the trembling woman in his arms.

Long after Little Grey fell asleep wrapped tightly in his embrace, he lay awake listening to her breathe, trying to tell himself that nothing was different and she was just another women in a long line of bed partners.

…He might have believed it, if it weren’t for a deep ache in his chest and dampness that filled his eyes.  
…………..  
Lexie woke up to the sound of Mark’s alarm in one ear and his heartbeat in the other. “What time is it?” she mumbled against his chest. She had a vague recollection of him pulling her into his arms and kissing her forehead, after that last intense bout of…of…of…she wasn’t sure what to call it. Sex seemed far too tame a word and making love far too optimistic. 

“It’s almost 5,” he grunted. He’d awakened beside hundreds of woman in his time, though almost never holding them. He’d learned early that sleeping on his own side of the bed made morning partings easier…much less tearstained and emotional if he wasn’t lucky enough to slip out before they woke. 

“Damn! I’ve got pre-rounds in half an hour.” Lexie rubbed her nose against his rough beard and snuggled tighter against him. “I so don’t want to move. This is the first time since I’ve returned to Seattle that I’ve been really warm in the morning...or any other time of day, for that matter.”

“Glad I could be of service.” His head tipped at an angle and he laughed, breaking any morning-after tension that had existed.  
……………….  
They were fine as they dressed hurriedly, she in her clothes from the night before and he to go jogging on the bike path behind Seattle Grace.

…..They were fine as they quickly gulped coffee he’d made with the small coffee maker the hotel provided, and she washed her face and tried to neaten her hair. 

….They were fine as they hurried through the early morning hallways of the Archfield, he with his gym bag in one hand and a hanger full of clothes for the day in the other.

….They were fine when he pulled into his parking space at the hospital. Mark had insisted on giving her a ride, reasoning that he was going there anyway. He studiously refused to listen to his inner voice that worried about her safety in the dark of the wet cold morning. 

“Lex,” his voice was deep and quiet as she reached for the door handle. She turned to look at him unaware that her face showed all the doubts and worry she was feeling. Her expression stopped him in his tracks and he couldn’t utter his usual ‘been fun, see ya around’. Instead he reached for her face with both hands and kissed her.

She retuned the kiss with her fingers wrapped around his wrists. When they pulled apart, all they could do was look at each other, both uncertain, both filled with doubts, and neither wanting the moment to end. “I wasn’t expecting that,” she breathed.

“I wasn’t expecting any of it.” 

“I…well yes…I was rather forward…but I don’t regret it.” She added quickly and scrambled from the car, before he could say anything to ruin her good mood.

“We’re so screwed, Little Grey,” Mark muttered as he watched to be sure she made it across the parking lot and into the ER doors safely. “We’re so damn screwed.”


	2. Learning But Not Knowing

The interns yawned sleepily though pre-rounds, each gathering every scrap of information on their respective resident’s patients that they could find. Since Sadie’s botched appendectomy, rounds were conducted formally. Though no one in their class would admit it, they lived in fear of screwing-up, when called upon to present, so they showed up early and usually stayed late.

Thanks to her unusual memory, Lexie didn’t have to scrambling for medical knowledge, as a number of her peers did. All she needed to do was check for updates and verify results. It left her with time to contemplate the ramifications of the information she had stored in her vast intellect. At least that was what she appeared to be doing as she leaned against the counter, sipping the last of the coffee Mark had given her that morning.

She bit her lip to keep from grinning, as she thought about him. ‘Mark,’ she mentally repeated his given name. It reminded her of the scratch of his beard as his mouth moved over her skin and the expressions that had flashed unexpectedly across his face as they’d…they’d… She still couldn’t put a name to what they’d done the night before and that bothered her. With a quick shake of her head, she took one last swallow of the now cold coffee and tossed the paper container in the recycle bin. It wouldn’t due to have Dr. Yang catch her daydreaming.  
…………………..  
Dr. Hunt borrowed Lexie from Cristina for the day. He’d discovered the intern had not only passed her Advanced Cardiovascular Life Support class, but that she was certified to teach it. She was perfect to participate in a pet project of his. He was adding First Years to each of the five Code Teams. Up until now, they had consisted of a second year surgical and anesthesia resident, and the ‘on call’ respiratory therapist. If Owen Hunt had his way, very shortly there would be interns added into the mix.

Lexie wasn’t sure if she should be happy to be removed from Yang for the day, or terrified at being the lone representative of her class. If she did well, others from her group would be brought on board, if not…well…if the challenging glint in the trauma surgeon’s eyes was anything to go by, failure was not an option. 

He had them running stairs with crash bags and doing practice drills until Alex Karev, Tom Middleton from anesthesia, Merna Soyer from respiratory, and Lexie were exhausted. The new Trauma attending made sure that each of them did their assigned job flawlessly. Then he went back over everything, having them do each other’s jobs. 

Lexie never realized how large Seattle Grace was, or how much its interconnecting halls resembled a large rat maze, until that day. She was an active person. All through college and medical school she’d run and practiced yoga. She still did, every chance she got, but by mid-afternoon, her legs shook and her thighs ached as she dashed up the steps to the ninth floor carrying a twenty-five pound bag. She knew when she got there; they would each be doing hundreds of chest compressions on STAN. Just the though of it made her back and shoulders cramp.

The exacting drills forced her to keep her mind on her work, with no time for reminiscing. Though when she took stairs two at a time, or bent in a certain direction, her body reminded her that she’d spent the previous night in Mark Sloan’s bed. Each time it happened, it was as if it was a new thought. She wanted to linger on the memories and hold them close as she savored the slight pain in feminine muscles that hadn’t been used in far too long.

She wasn’t sure how she’d found the nerve to go to his hotel the night before but she was very glad she had, even if he wasn’t the kind who…never…well…she shook herself, that was where the dangerous, distracting memories lay. She’d heard the rumors about him. He was a one-night stand type of guy, even if she wasn’t usually that type of girl. So what if she got a funny little catch in her stomach thinking about him? She refused to let her emotions make a fool of her.  
………………  
Dr. Hunt finally sent them on their way at 10:00 pm, with a reminder that the new Code Team call schedule would be posted on Monday. Lexie only nodded. Her arms, legs and hands hurt and she could hardly stand straight. She was moving slowly through the dimmed corridors on her way to the locker room when she bumped into Mark coming out of surgery.

“Hi.” She smiled.

“Little Grey.” He nodded and began to move around her. 

“That’s all you have to say?” She looked up at him with big brown eyes that caught at his chest and reminding him of a long list of things he had no business knowing. Like the fact that there was an enticing beauty mark under her left breast and that her nipples were so sensitive that he’d been able to make her climax without touching her anywhere else. He knew what his name sounded like as it tumble from her lips, when she was on the edge of passion and how she gasped it raggedly as she exploded into a million pieces in his arms …thinking about the night before made him want to tumble her to the floor and take her again and again until he had his fill of her. 

He shook his head to clear it of memories. He couldn’t go on like that – mooning over a girl. That was not how Mark Sloan conducted his life. The women swooned over him, not the other way around.

“What do you want me to say, Lexie?” He didn’t like confrontations, they always got messy with emotions flung every-which-way, but he knew there was no getting out of this one, at least not if he wanted to cut her from his life before she wised up and cut him from hers.

“I…I don’t know.” She watched his face harden as she searched for words. “I guess I don’t want what happened to change the way we conduct ourselves at work.”

“You don’t?” He eyebrows rose coolly. “How very mature of you.” Mark knew he was being rude, but she was stealing his lines and he didn’t like it. They sounded much better when he said them. 

“Well…yes…we were two consenting adults…” As she said it, she was rocked with the memory of his touch, the feel of his skin and the taste of his mouth. 

That was his line, damnit. Didn’t the girl know the rules? Things were going to get messy, very messy. Mark decided it would be better to continue their discussion in private, despite the late hour and quiet halls. He gripped her arm and ducked into an empty room with her in tow.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing, Dr. Sloan?” She was angry and hurt and smart enough to know that being alone with him behind a closed door wasn’t a good idea.

“What were you trying to prove last night?” he growled, ignoring her question as if she hadn’t asked it and her eyes as if they weren’t kaleidoscopes of feelings. She tied him in knots and did strange things to his emotions. It felt like he was holding a bottle of pink champagne that had been shaken. Any moment the pressure would become too much for them and they’d erupt just like that bottle. When that happened, he doubted either of them would care where they were; they’d be all over each other.

“I wasn’t trying to prove anything…I just…I trust you.” She was close enough to him that she caught the scent of his aftershave mingled with scrub soap from surgery. The combination was the most erotic thing she’d ever smelled. 

“Damnit, Lexie, don’t you listen to the gossip around here? You know what I am.” All the while he was talking, running himself down, she was shaking her head, denying everything he said. Shaking that bottle of champagne just a bit harder.

“I don’t believe it.” She felt herself flush to the tip of her nose. “Well…not all of it anyway.” 

“You better believe it, Grey.” He began to back her up against a wall. “We both know why you showed up at my door last night.” His voice got lower and quieter, as it vibrated from deep in his chest. He refused to listen to what she was saying. It would be too easy to get lost in her large brown eyes. She was sweet and young and deserved so much better than a man like him. Derek had gotten that much right, even if Mark resented his friend’s tactics. “You had an itch,” he accused, “And decided to let the man whore scratch it.” His eyes shot daggers into hers, as he pressed closer. Shaking that champagne bottle more with every step.

“No,” she gasped. “It wasn’t like that.” She was sure it wasn’t, though something had snapped inside of her when Sadie had said, ‘he likes you’. Then her mind went blank at the feel of his hard body against hers. 

“Sure it was,” he prodded as he pressed tighter against her. “You were looking for a goodtime and I’m a goodtime type of guy. There’s nothing wrong in admitting it.” 

“Stop it. Don’t say things like that.” It was difficult for her to equate this angry, callous man with the one she’d known for almost a year. She knew that he was as tough as they came, professionally. He demanded perfection from himself and those around him. He could be rude and condescending when he chose but she’d never heard of him being intentionally cruel.

“Why not? It’s the truth, or was there something more?” He squinted down at her, caught between his chest and the wall. One of his hands was on either side of her shoulders, trapping her in place. “You thought you could change me, turn the big bad wolf into…what…prince charming?” His mouth turned up on one side into a twisted version of a smile.

“I…I…wasn’t trying to change you. God, Mark why would I ever want to do that?”

During fleeting moments of complete clarity over the long day, he’d recognized that their night together had already cost them far more than either of them realized, but he was Mark Sloan and he never looked back on the emotional train wrecks he was so skilled at creating, so he didn’t recognize one when it was bearing down on him. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” he pushed. His parents had been attorneys and he’d learned early that if you didn’t like the premise of a question, you didn’t answer it. He was damned if this slip of a woman was going to play that game with him. “Why the hell did you come to the Archfield last night? What were you expecting if not just a quick romp between the sheets?” He hated tearing her apart, but he’d had all day to think and knew it was better, safer, to do it now. She was a tempting morsel and he wanted her all to himself…until…well…he didn’t want her anymore.

The one question he hadn’t thought to ask himself was why, if he wanted her, he didn’t simply take her. He’d never had trouble using a woman until boredom set in and he blithely moved on. Why was Lexie Grey different?

“I don’t know!” she cried out. “I don’t know why I went to your room.” Tears filled her eyes. She was too tired to go up against him like this.

“Wrong answer.” He knew if he called her ‘Lassie’ as he had last time, it would seal the deal, but he couldn’t demean her that way. “Try again and this time I want the truth.” He leaned his full weight on her, pressing her back against the wall, wanting to do so much more with her.

“I like you and trust you,” her voice broke at the disbelief that was written on his face. She knew she was making a fool of herself, like all the other women in his life, but she cared too much about him to lie. “After what you did for Mrs. Patterson, I wanted to…to…I don’t know. We’d spent the day planning the surgery and I watched from the gallery.” 

A small part of him cried out in pain, when he heard her answer. He’d rather have her yell at him in anger, than have a crush on him because of his surgical abilities. “You’ve got a huge case of hero worship going on there Grey, but I’m no hero. It’s time you learned that OR gods have clay feet outside the hospital.”

“No, you’re the one who needs to learn a thing or two.” She couldn’t believe that he thought her so shallow as to sleep with him because of his abilities as a surgeon. “I enjoyed spending time with you and didn’t want it to end. I hadn’t planned on…well…on taking off my clothes,” she bit her lip in embarrassment but he only frowned. “It was the look on your face when you answered your door. That’s what did it,” Lexie whispered. She stood on her toes and cupped his cheeks as she leaned in to kiss him.

“That’s the biggest load of childish schoolgirl bull crap I’ve ever heard.” His voice was low and quiet and slid over her icily, though his warm breath brushed against her lips inches from his. He saw the moment his insults hit home and knew they had the power to sting as if he’d slapped her.

“Shut-up, just shut-up and leave me alone!” the words he should have wanted to hear burst out of her as she clawed at him to push him away. She was a champagne bottle filled with her anger and passion exploding, raining tiny bubbles down around him. 

He knew in that moment that he didn’t want to let her go. 

Mark pulled her close and covered her mouth with his. His tongue swept past her lips. The taste of her went to his head like a bottle of Dom. He wanted her badly, but not here in this room, where he’d verbally savaged her or anywhere else in the hospital. He’d be damned if Lexie Grey would be known as another one of Sloan’s Women.

“Shhh, sweetheart,” he murmured as he kissed her eyes and cheeks. The amazing thing was that she let him. By all rights, she should have walked away and never spoken to him again.

“Don’t do that to me again,” she sniffed. “If you want me gone, just tell me and I’ll leave, but not like that. Please, Mark, don’t try to make me hate you.” She was still holding on to him and his arms were still wrapped around her. She didn’t want to let him go, but they needed to straighten things out between them before this went any further.

“I had to try and not just because you’re Little Grey.”

“What does who I am have to do with it?” She leaned against him absorbing his warmth against her tired shaking muscles. She’d never admit it, but she loved it when he called her that.

“You’re off limits to me by order of Big Grey. She sent Derek as the messenger.”

Lexie looked up at him, a stricken expression on her face. “I embarrass her so much, that she wouldn’t want me to be friends with her boyfriend’s best friend?” It hurt her more than she thought possible to realize that she had so little worth to her half-sister. 

“No, sweetheart, you’ve got it backward.” He gently removed the ponytail fastener from her hair and watched some of the tension leave her neck. He told himself he’d only done it so he could enjoy the feel of her soft hair felling over his hands. It had nothing to do with his deep need to touch her and sooth away her hurts. “Meredith knows me for what I am.”

“She knows you and she still used Derek against you,” Lexie’s voice rose indignantly. “That’s so wrong. He’s well… he’s your family.”

Marks pressed his forehead against hers, as her words sunk in. They warmed him and made him feel appreciated. “It wasn’t as if he threatened me.”

“Mark, don’t, don’t take their side in this.” She was too tired to think straight and terrified that she was going to cry again. It hurt her that someone would try and hurt him.

“There’s no other side for me to take.” God, he wanted her. She was angry for him. It made it all the more important that she understood what kind of man he was. “I’m not a nice person. You’ve got to have figured that out by now.” His eyes were filled with sorrow and regret. “I’m not nice at all, because as much as I want you, no one can know about it.”

“As long as we know about it, I don’t care,” she whispered and kissed him lightly on the chin. “And you’ll never convince me that you’re such a bad man. If you were, you’d have had my scrub bottoms off and taken me against this wall half an hour ago.” She flushed and pressed her hips against his, leaving no doubt in his mind that she’d felt his need for her from the moment he’d leaned against her. 

“If we were anywhere but the hospital I might have.” Mark’s eyes held hers. He owed her the truth. 

“If we were anywhere but the hospital, I wouldn’t have stopped you.” Deep brown eyes met intense blue ones and Lexie thought her chest would burst until she realized that she’d stopped breathing because of the way he was looking at her.

“Come home with me,” he whispered as he ran his hand along her delicate jaw. He didn’t know how long this would last before he screwed it up by cheating on her. He didn’t even know what it was, but he wasn’t leaving the empty patient room without her. 

“I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. I don’t have anything to wear.”

“You won’t need it.” Mark grinned lazily. 

“That’s all fine and good for tonight, but I can’t very well show up here tomorrow in the buff.”

“It might be interesting, but it would definitely raise a few eyebrows. Grab an extra pair of scrubs and you’ll be fine. We’ll figure out the rest as we go along,” he suggested. “I’ll meet you back here in ten minutes.  
……………..  
Nine minutes later Lexie came around the corner wrapped up tightly in her coat, and slipping a neatly folded light blue swatch of clothing into her purse. 

“Ready,” he mouthed the word and nodded for her to go out ahead of him. He followed close behind so he’d know she was safe getting to his car. It was a new experience worrying about a woman. He’d had a taste of it with Addison, but it had never been like this.

“I have to warn you, I’m exhausted. It won’t be like last night…I can’t…” She flushed to the roots of her hair and forced herself to go on. “I have to get some sleep tonight because I’m in the clinic tomorrow. I don’t want you to be disappointed.” She tried to smile, but it faltered. She was worried he would send her away if she couldn’t promise a repeat of the night before.

“Lex…don’t. After the way I treated you tonight, you don’t owe me anything.” Mark engaged the engine and turned on the heater full blast. He could see her shivering and remembered her telling him that she was always cold, since returning to Seattle.

That new unusual feeling moved through his chest again. It took him a moment to recognize it for protectiveness. The second he did he realized she’d probably bite his head off if he verbalized it. He knew it was important to Lexie Grey to stand on her own. He’d let her do just that, but he was damned if he wasn’t going to stand close enough to catch her if she happened to fall.   
……………  
That night was different from the previous one. That night they slowly undressed each other, savoring each moment. There was nothing hurried or frantic about their coming together. An uninformed third party, who didn’t know that Mark Sloan wasn’t capable of such feelings, would swear the two people in that room at the Archfield were making love.


	3. Living Under The Radar

Mark held Lexie tightly against him, unable to take his eyes or hands off of her. It was late. They were exhausted from a long day that had culminated in a clash of wills in an empty room at the hospital and some of the most passionate sex he’d ever encountered, once they’d returned to the Archfield. 

His long strong finger felt for knots in her back and shoulders. Each time he found one, her breath caught and she sighed quietly against his chest, while he gently stroked away the tightness. Dr. Badass Hunt had worked her like she was in some crazy hospital version of boot camp. The medical professional in Sloan understood the reasoning behind it, but the lover…his thoughts stumbled on the word. He shook his head and searched for another noun. He settled for, the new man in Lexie Grey’s life. Yes, that almost fit… As the new man in her life, Mark was appalled at the way she’d been taken through her paces to earn her spot as the first intern in Seattle Grace’s history on the Code Call Team.

“Ohhh, yes, right there,” she groaned when he found an especially sore area. 

“Shhh, Sweetheart, go to sleep,” he whispered, pressing deeper with his knuckle causing, cramped muscle fibers to loosen and relax. He concentrated on keeping his hands on her neck, shoulders, or the sleek plane of her back, in an attempt to satisfy the desire that pumped through his blood. The need to touch her silky skin was overpowering and he was worried that if he didn’t find an outlet, he’d end up rolling her beneath him and taking her while she was half-asleep.

“That feels sooo good,” Lexie’s words were accompanied by a blissful moan. She was floating in a sleepy warm fog, surrounded by Mark Sloan. He’d wrapped her in his arms and comforting scent. His busy hands were touching her everywhere, except where she wanted to feel him the most. No matter how tired she was, she yearned for more. Her fingers drifted across his chest making slow circles over his breastbone, before traveling downward over his flat belly and below.

“Lex, that’s not a good idea,” he warned, as all his senses came alive at her touch. He’d deliberately separated their hips, so she wouldn’t feel how much he wanted her. They’d already made love...had sex - he amended - twice. What the hell was wrong with him?

His criteria for sex was easy and had almost never failed him. Rule 1 – The woman had to be desirable and willing. Lexie was both, so he placed a mental check mark next to her name! Rule 2 – He had to be in the mood…well when wasn’t he…a large double check mark appeared next to his name. By all rights, it should have been playtime, but…. Lexie could barely keep her eyes open. It was a condition he could remedy, he’d done it before with other women, but Lexie Grey wasn’t any of those other women. As quickly as that thought took root, he buried it.

“Why not?” Her voice cracked as she moved her left leg over his thighs. She wanted him and it was obvious from her very recent exploration of his body that he wanted her.

“You need to get some sleep.” Mark couldn’t believe those words came out of his mouth. He almost never turned down sex. 

“I’ll sleep later.” Her smile was pure sex kitten as she slid on top of him. “Right now, I want you inside of me.” She walked her hands down his chest, pushing herself into a sitting position with her legs straddling his hips. She caressed him gently and rose up onto her knees. Her breath caught as she slowly sank downward, letting him fill her. 

“God,” he gasped. He fought his natural instinct to arch deep and hard into her warm wetness. He knew he could make her enjoy it, even if he pushed her beyond her limits but he didn’t want her sore in the morning. She really was little Grey and he was big Sloan and there was no getting around the anatomical truth.

“It’s alright, Mark, please, let me do this for you.” She’d felt him recoil so she gripped the headboard and struggled to take control of their rhythm. But as she moved upward, her already tortured thighs, trembled and began to give out. She wobbled slightly and would have come down too hard and too deep, if he hadn’t wrapped both hands around her waist to steady her.

“I’ve got you, Babe.” He gritted his teeth and damned Owen Hunt.

“I’m okay, really,” she caught her breath and leaned down to kiss him, as if her life depended on it. “I can do it.”

“I know you can. You’re a stubborn thing.” It was one of the qualities he admired most about her, but he wasn’t taking any chances on hurting her. She was a small slim woman and she needed to be careful. “Let’s try a little variation, just for tonight.” He sat up, taking her with him. Their bodies were still joined and his arms were holding her tightly against him. “Put your arms around my neck and then wrap your legs around my waist.”

It took some maneuvering to straighten out her tired legs, without separating their bodies, but she accomplished it with Mark’s help.

“Oh, I like this.” Lexie nibbled at his lips as she rocked her body up and down. “It has the advantage…” she felt her muscles tightening and knew that she was very close… “The advantage of being able to kiss you.” Their lips met and her tongue explored deep into his mouth. He tasted of toothpaste and sex and she wanted more.

Her hips swayed hard, but no matter how hard she tried, she was aware that he was holding her back. “No, Mark, please, let me do this.”

“I can’t!” he gasped. Didn’t she realize how hard it was for him to give over control and how terrified he was that he’d hurt her? 

“Let me be the one taking care of you for once,” she whispered. Her hands cupped his face and her eyes were filled with need. “Let me do my share. Neither of us will get hurt, I promise.”

It frightened him that she could read him so well. It was almost more frightening than what she was offering. Despite the fear, he couldn’t deny her especially when every nerve fiber in his being was shouting to let go. He slowly loosened his right arm and brought it around until he twisted his fingers in her hair, slanting her face upward.

“Okay, Little Grey, it’s all yours.” For the first time in his life, Mark Sloan allowed someone else to minister to his pleasure. 

“Yes!” she gasped and pitched upward and then down. She cried out and the world exploded around her. Even as her body contracted and her back arched, she still moved riding him until he gasped her name, gripping her tightly to him as his body convulsed deep in hers.   
…………………  
Lexie Grey woke slumped over Mark Sloan. She remembered he’d pulled the comforter up around them, as she’d let go of the death grip her legs had on his waist. She remembered he’d run his hands through her hair as he’d kissed her and pulled her down on top of him. 

Their bodies were still joined and skin touching everywhere possible.

“This is a hell of a good way to wake up,” Sloan was groggy and pleased with this new development in his life, as he stroked her back.

“Ummmhumm.” It was the best she could do, when she couldn’t even pry her lids open.

“Come on, Grey, we’re burning daylight.” He squeezed her bottom before throwing back the covers. He didn’t care that it was still dark. A man had needs when he woke up. His were intensified by her breath caressing his neck and the feel of her belly pressed against his.

“Don’t tell me you’re a morning person,” she grouched.

“I am about some things.” He grinned at her wickedly and ran his hand along her side until it contacted the outer slope of her breast. He worked his thumb between their bodies and pressed her nipple into his rib, causing her to moan. 

She was so damned responsive it sent a shiver through his body. As much as he was enjoying their present position, he had other plans. “Shower sex is always best in the morning.” Before she could answer, he picked her up and carried her into the bathroom.  
…………………  
That was how they began. It was a fragile start for a woman who had no one and a man who believed only in the here and now. 

No agreement was made, or rules discussed, beyond the heated words they’d exchanged in an empty patient room the day before. At work she called him Dr. Sloan and he called her Dr. Grey. They were determined to keep the private side of their lives…private.   
……………….  
They’d spent Saturday working together on Sloan’s personal project. He’d approached the Chief months earlier about offering cleft palate and cleft lip repairs to underprivileged children. His plan was to run it through the Denny Doquette Memorial Clinic. The stumbling block had been the funding. The state paid a small amount for those surgeries, but fewer and fewer doctors and hospitals were doing them, for the disadvantaged, because the reimbursement was so low, compared to the costs involved. 

It was a major undertaking to finance the venture. Mark counted on his reputation in the field to bring in paying patients to help offset some of the costs. Now that the clinic was open, if a family wanted him to do their child’s cleft surgery, it was done through the clinic on a sliding scale, overseen by SGH’s Office of Social Work. 

Most people thought of Sloan as Dr. Tits and Ass, but that wasn’t what had interested him about plastic surgery, despite the show he put on to the contrary. Mark’s aesthetic, cash paying, patients paid for his expensive lifestyle without taking a penny from his trust funds and allowed him the freedom to do pro bono case, where his real interest lay. But the scope of the project he was beginning went far beyond a few cases a month and everyone involved knew it.  
………………  
“Wow, that was amazing.” Lexie slumped on her rolling stool. She didn’t care how much she hurt from her previous week of Code Call Boot Camp, as Mark had snidely referred to her time spent with Owen Hunt, she was excited by what they’d accomplished in a few short hours.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet, Grey.” Sloan grinned at her as he made a final entry in his last patient’s chart. “I’ve had a mother or two accuse me of giving her back the wrong baby after the surgery was over, though it only took a few moments for them to realize their error. There’s a special love between the moms and kids like these.” He shook his head unable to comprehend maternal caring.

“I wish I could see it...the surgery…that is.” She sighed.

“If ya can’t do the time, ya shouldn’t have done the crime.” His brows rose as he gave her a meaningful look. Mark had been the one person who hadn’t chided her for attempting to do an unsupervised appendectomy on Sadie Harris. He remembered her looking sad and broken in SGH’s lobby that night and had promised himself he’d never add to her hurt.

“Please, not you too.” She looked at him with pleading eyes that made them both aware that she’d accidently crossed the line between professional and personal. Her breath caught in her throat and she shook her head trying to put some emotional distance between them. She’d spent the last eight nights in his bed with him inside of her a good part of it. This was their first test. If they couldn’t work together and leave all feelings at the door, she knew they’d be found out. “I…I…” she stuttered as she tried to clear her head of his scent and feel. “Ahh... ahh....How…how far ahead is your OR time booked?” she gulped, finally back on professional ground.

“I squeezed some extra block time out of Richard. He gave me Friday mornings, in one of the Pedi OR’s.” He’d watched her internal fight and let her battle it on her own, aware how deep and dangerous the waters they were treading could get. She needed to be able to hold her own or they were done for. As the thought crossed Mark’s mind, he refused to acknowledge the hollowness it brought to his stomach…to never touch her again, never see her cheeks turn pink and her eyes glassy as he brought her to climax over and over again…and the new thing he permitted only her to do…to let her strip him bare of his pretenses and allow someone to pleasure him…

“Dr. Sloan,” Lexie called out. He’d gone somewhere inside his head and if the way his eyes smoldered was any indication she didn’t dare touch him – though she had a quick uncomfortable thought – what if it wasn’t her he was thinking about? “Dr. Sloan.”

“Ah…yeah…ah…Here are the charts, in the order I want the surgeries booked. Jenny, my office manager, has volunteered her time to process the paperwork.” 

“I see I’ve arrived just in time, young man.” Jennifer Kirkwood walked quickly into the room. She was a tiny, compactly built woman with stylishly cut blonde and silver hair that was still damp and ruffled from the weather. Her cheeks were pink and her grey eyes danced with joy. She was still wearing damp jeans, and a heavy turtle neck sweater, though she’d changed from the sticky soled rain-gear boots she wore when sailing, into a pair of flat-heeled Frye boots. 

“I’m always glad to see you made it to work safely. Unlike most sane people who live on any of the San Juan Islands, Jen sails her own boat to work instead of taking the ferry.” He informed Lex before glaring at the sixty-year old woman who looked and acted years younger. “My office and private clinic would be in a real mess, if you fell overboard one of these days?” 

“Ferries, who do you think I am Derek Shepherd? I like to have control when I’m on the water.” She drilled Sloan with a steely grey glance that slid easily into an impish grin. “I’ve been sailing the Windswept for too many years to stop now. I’m more likely to fall on dry land and break my hip than I am to end up in the drink.” It was an old argument between them and Kirkwood knew that Mark worried about her, so she put up with it. “Besides, sailing is the way I like to start my day.”

“Well...ah...yes...” he stuttered remembering how his day had begun. “Ah...Jenny, have you met Dr. Lexie Grey?” He nodded toward the blushing woman beside him.

“Grey?” the older woman questioned.

“Afraid so,” Lex smiled shyly. “The younger one.”

“Oh…” pieces fell into place…so she was finally meeting Little Grey… it made a woman wonder, especially if that woman had a romantic heart.

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Kirkwood.” The intern offered her hand to the petite older woman.

“Actually it’s Miss Kirkwood.” Jen smiled, though her grey eyes turned misty. “Or better yet Ms., but to make things simple call me Jenny, less confusing that way.” She nodded emphatically and blinked quickly.

“I...uh...just...ah....” Lexie caught the flash of the brilliant emerald cut diamond ring on the older woman’s left ring finger, but there was no accompanying wedding band. 

“It’s all right, dear, most people make the same mistake.” Jen took the files from the flustered intern. “I’d been hoping to get a chance to meet you.” She smiled gently remembering what her old friend Carolyn Shepherd had had to say about the young doctor. “Mark, I’ll get these surgeries booked before I head home.” She flipped through them quickly to be sure she didn’t have any questions. “I’m assuming ear tubes for all the palates, as well as the repair?”

“You got it.” He grinned. “But Jen...” she flinched when he called her that name. He’d accidently bumped into her ghostly past, something he went out of way to avoid. “Jenny, go home, you can schedule them on Monday. There’s a storm brewing.”

“I’m not ready to go home, yet. I still have tasks to complete. Besides, this wouldn’t be the first storm I’ve weathered.” She refused to admit the double meaning behind her words, but the sigh that accompanied them spoke volumes. With a quick nod she turned and left the two doctors standing alone in the clinic. How could she explain to a man who didn’t believe in lasting emotions that her heart was still tied to the Marine pilot who had given her his love and his ring and then headed off to lead his men in a routine training exercise? Inexplicably, he’d returned in a body bag. Now all she had left of him was the ship they’d sailed, his dog tags, her gold bracelet that he’d taken with him so he’d always have part of her close, and a brilliant emerald cut diamond ring she never took off her finger.

Lexie watched Jenny Kirkwood walk out of the building and dash across the parking lot. The older woman moved with dancer-like grace as she dodged puddles and finally disappeared through the Emergency Department doors.

“Is she going to be all right?” The lump in Lex’s throat made it hard to talk and she was terrified she was going to cry.

“She’s a smart woman. If the storm is too bad, she’ll sleep on her boat, docked at the marina.” Mark dodged the real question he was being asked. He wasn’t going to discuss anything deeper, especially not at work. Jennifer Kirkwood and Lexie Grey were too much alike. Both had stubborn loyal hearts and a moral strength that put others to shame. Mark had met Jen years ago at the Shepard's and he'd never seen her without her engagement ring.

“Dr. Grey,” though he used her title, his voice was intimate and smoky. It caressed as if he’d touched her. “Would you like a ride home?” Mark nodded toward the sheets of rain that were hitting the window.

“Home?” Her brows shot up unsure what he was asking. She didn’t really have a home anymore. Her things, that weren’t stored at her Dad’s, were scattered between Mark’s room at the Archfield and the apartment she was supposed to be sharing with George.

“Yeah,” he leaned in before whispering, “I thought you might like to pick up a few items before visiting a friend.” 

“Yes, Dr. Sloan, I’d like that very much.” She nodded her head, sending her silky hair flying over her shoulders.  
………………..  
As soon as he got her across the threshold of his room at the Archfield, Mark pulled Lexie into his arms and kissed her. He’d wanted to all day and his patience was stretched thin. Clothes were left in a trail, both his and hers, as they kissed and caressed all the way to the bed.

She was like a drug he couldn’t get enough of and it only got worse each time he touched her.

Lexie lost count of the number of times he’d driven her over the edge before he finally gave in and took what he needed. Then they fell asleep to the sound of rain hitting the windows and the pounding of each other’s heart.

It wasn’t until after room service had come and gone and they’d eaten that things became difficult.

“I’m really going to have to find somewhere to do laundry.” Lex muttered as she put away some clothes she’d brought from the apartment she shared with George. Though since neither she nor George were ever there anymore, it could hardly be said they shared it. He’d gone off to spend the weekend with his brothers, for which she was very grateful. There had been no need to lie to him when she’d packed a small tote and headed out. Mark had been double-parked in front and she wanted to be as quick as possible.

“The hotel has a laundry service. Put your things in the valet bag with mine. I leave it out each night and twenty-four hours later everything is returned clean, pressed and neatly folded or hanging on hangers.”

“I can’t do that.” Her face was troubled. “Someone will know I’m here, if I do.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t know how to tell you this, but the staff already knows you’re here.” He brushed a lock of her hair off her cheek and curled it behind her ear.

“But…but…” She felt out of her depths.

“Room service has been bringing two meals up here for over a week.” He ticked off the reasons on his fingers. “Look at that bed, even the most dimwitted maid can tell I haven’t been sleeping alone. Besides you leave all that pretty hand laundry decorating the bathroom.” He grinned when he thought of her colorful collection of panties, bras and tank tops that dangled from hangers in the shower.

“This isn’t funny!” she snapped. “You wanted to keep us a secret. How can it be a secret if the entire Archfield knows?” 

“I wouldn’t say entire…. there may be a janitor or two who isn’t aware of the situation.” This time he made the mistake of laughing out loud.

“This…this…can’t be.” She was beginning to panic. If Derek found out, it could ruin Mark’s friendship with a man who was like a brother to him. She refused to be responsible for that. 

“Hey, wait a sec. What’s this all about? I mean really about?”

“Mark, they’ll find out and ruin it. That was the one good thing about a hotel, the anonymity.”

“Wait, back up.” He gripped her shoulders as she moved nervously from foot to foot. “You resent this happening in a hotel?” It was as much a statement as a question.

“I….I…didn’t think I did.” She pressed her fingers to her mouth as all the memories of what they’d done in these rooms flew with lightening speed through her head. Nothing was forgotten, left out, amended, or glossed over. It couldn’t be when you had a photographic memory. 

“I thought you said you didn’t want to change me.” He shook her slightly to get her attention. “Well, this is who I am.”

“I know,” she smiled sadly. “And I’m not trying to change you. You’re ‘One Foot Out the Door Sloan’.” Lexie shrugged and prayed she didn’t cry as the revelation hit her. She cared deeply for a man who was always on the run.

“No! No, that isn’t it. That’s not why I live here…okay, maybe at first, before Addison left.” He couldn’t believe he could say her name and not feel pain, but it had finally happened, he’d gotten over her. “Now I live here because it’s close to the hospital and it’s easy. All my needs are met by picking up the phone.”

“Don’t you want something more than that? Don’t you want something that really belongs to you, that’s just your own?” She wasn’t sure they were talking about living space any longer.

“I tried once, but it cost too much.” He thought sadly of the townhouse he’d sold when he’d found out Addison had had an abortion rather than have his baby. It had been the final step that had set him adrift from anything that he’d called permanent or, it had been, until he discovered a whole new world in a set of deep brown eyes and a quirky smile.

Lexie watched pain and sorrow pass over Mark’s face and couldn’t stand it any longer. “Ya know what, I think this doesn’t have anything to do with living in a hotel. I think we just need to get out of here for a while. As much as I love the perks, I think we’re both getting cabin fever.” She looked at her watch. It was 11:30. If they hurried they just might make it. “Ya got some cash on you?”

“Sure, but where can we go?” 

“Oh ye of little faith.” She grabbed his hand and headed for the door. On her way past the closet she tossed him his leather jacket; settled her purse over her shoulder and her coat over her arm. “We’re outta here.”

Twenty-fine minutes later Mark pulled into the parking lot of a small theater in the University District. “Ta – Da,” Lexie grinned and spread her arms at the marquee, which read: Saturday Midnight Movie – Fight Club.”

Mark grinned. He loved that movie. “You ever seen this movie, Little Grey?”

“Sure have, Big Sloan.” Her comeback was immediate and it caught him by surprise. There was no way she knew about the conversation he’d had with Derek, beyond what he’d told her and he definitely hadn’t referred to himself by that name, but it was kind of cute when she said it. It took him a moment to realize that she was playing with him. There had been no innuendo involved.

“Did you enjoy it?” He watched her expressive face and read the truth.

“It was an interesting concept, though rather violent.” Her nose curled in distaste. “But I’m sure going to enjoy watching you enjoy it.” Her smile was genuine and it did funny things to his heart.

“You were right. We were getting cabin fever,” his voice was deep and husky, as he leaned in to kiss her. His tongue swept her mouth and her hands gripped the front of his jacket in her fists.

“If you keep kissing me like that, I’m not going to want to get out of the car.”

“If I keep kissing you like that I won’t be able to get out of the car.” He pulled back and straightened his jacket. If he was going to keep hanging around with Lexie Grey, he was going to have to think about getting a coat that was a bit longer.  
……………….  
That first midnight movie was how they figured out that they could go almost anywhere together and never run into someone they knew. They had to make some adjustments to when they went out. The day and the time were usually key factors. Plus there were whole sections of Seattle and the surrounding area that were never frequented by anyone from the hospital. Once or twice they saw one of Mark’s patients, but since most people who have had plastic surgery usually weren’t eager to broadcast the fact, the connection went unacknowledged. Though it meant Mark and Lexie crossed that establishment off their list of places to go.

They walked along the waterfront at dawn, each with an arm around the other’s waist and a cup of steaming coffee shared between them.

Instead of working out in the hospital’s gym as he’d done on days he didn’t run, Mark harassed the Archfield management into giving him a key to their weight room so he and Lexie could use it before anyone else was up or, on the occasional late night, long after it was closed for the day. He was determined that by the time she was allowed back in the OR, she’d have the upper body and arm strength to do anything that was thrown at the interns. 

When a heavy snow hit Seattle and the emergencies had finally stopped rolling in through the ED, and they were able to escape Seattle Grace, they went to one of the downtown parks and let the white fluff fall around them. Their bodies pressed together to keep from freezing. At least that had been the plan, until Lexie tossed the first snowball. A rowdy, take-no-prisoners fight ensued. In the end when he tackled her to the ground and kissed her like there was no tomorrow, she gladly surrendered.

They still went with their friends to The Emerald City Bar, but they went separately, together. She would be with the interns, usually playing darts. He sat at the bar or a table with Callie and sometimes Cristina. It wasn’t a nightly occurrence anymore and when they did go, they never stayed long. 

One night there was a bit of a ruckus by the dartboard. The tall sandy-haired male intern, who needed an attitude adjustment, was hitting on the women. 

“If you don’t stop breathing down my neck, I’m gonna rip your tongue out.” Lexie turned to him holding a dart tight against his neck. “And if you don’t believe the damage I can do with a sharp object, just have Sadie show you her scar!” Her eyes flashed and she gave him a shove into the nearest chair.

“Way ta go, Three.” Cristina raised her drink, fully expecting Mark and Torres to join in her fun, but Sloan was glaring as if someone had stolen his surgery. “Ha and they say I haven’t been teaching my interns anything.” Yang finished her beer and stood, her eyes looking toward the end of the bar. “Well I’m outta here, guys. It’s been real, or whatever.”

Callie waited until her roommate was out of earshot before she elbowed Sloan and whispered, “Watch this.”

“What, what’s so interesting?” It was hard to drag his eyes off the slimy prick who’d been trying to put the moves on Little Grey.

“The end of the bar, watch Yang and then watch….him…” She nodded to the silent brooding figure of Owen Hunt.

Cristina stopped to button her coat at the door, and looked quickly over her shoulder. From their table Sloan and Torres had an excellent view of troubled blue eyes meeting inscrutable brown ones. Moments later, Hunt took one last swallow of his drink and causally headed for the door. He couldn’t have been more than twenty-five feet behind Cristina.

“No! No, I will not believe it.” Mark’s eyes about bugged out of his head. “Hunt and Yang…” he was speechless. 

“Shhhhh,” Callie leaned into him with her finger against her lips. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything. But I wanted you know why Cristina was immune to your charms a couple of months ago,” she snorted at the memory of how outraged Mark had been at the time. “Thought it would make you feel better...ya know, cheer you up.”

“Feel better, cheer me up? What are you talking about?” He scowled trying to keep one eye on his best friend while he made sure Lexie was safe from horny interns. “I don’t need cheering up.”

“You’ve been awfully quiet lately, never see you around much anymore. Have you been sulking about something?” Torres took another swallow of her drink and turned to see why Mark kept looking over his shoulder.

“Sulking about Yang? Never. I only put the moves on her ‘cause Derek asked me to. If I’d been interested, really interested...” He glared at the dark haired woman beside him, she knew him too damn well. “And I have not been sulking! Can’t a man spend extra time...ah...working.” Callie’s eyes were sparkling and he had an idea that he’d said too much.

“Working, huh?” She laughed at him and he had to force himself from looking over his shoulder at the noisy interns behind him. “Question is who ya working on? The old Sloan rumors have been real quiet.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Torrez. There was a lot of prep work needed to get my clinic up and running and now that it is…well more work.” He nodded emphatically and let his eyes casually slide to his right only to discover Lexie was missing from the crowd by the dartboard. 

“Workings good. That’s a good thing to be doing.” She nodded, draining her glass and set it on the table harder than intended. “Cause there are no secrets at Seattle Grace, not for Yang and Hunt, or anyone else.” Her lips twitched and her eyes fogged over, either from memories, alcohol, or something he didn’t want to contemplate. 

“Why should I care about secrets?” He frowned wondering what Callie knew, or if she was simply spouting nonsense brought on by a broken heart and alcohol. 

“Dr. Torres, Dr. Sloan...” Lexie smiled as she passed their table heading for the door. She’d sat ten feet away and watched the voluptuous orthopedic resident leaning against Mark for as long as she could take it. 

“Little Grey.” Callie greeted the slim girl as she passed their table. “Wait...wait a second, Grey...” She felt dizzy as she was struck with a sense of déjà vu. The way Sloan’s eyes followed Lexie, was like watching Owen Hunt and Cristina Yang all over again. Except this time it was...it...was... “Ohhh not good. I...ah mean...I’m not feeling so good. Would you two help me get home, it’s just across the street.” She had a sick feeling that she knew what had been taking up all of her friend’s time the last few months and if she was right, there was trouble brewing.

“Sure, glad to help.” Lex took one of her arms and Mark the other.

“Come on Cal, let’s get you home.”

The walk across the street was slow and steady. Sloan suspected Torres was suffering more from exhaustion than alcohol. The young orthopedic surgeon’s life had been a mess recently adding extra stress to an already hectic schedule. 

“Yang didn’t get here before we did?” Mark was surprised to find the apartment dark and empty as he unlocked Cal’s door. 

“Naw, nope, they’re not…well, enough said about that.” She grinned, looking sheepish and shrugged for lack of anything else to say. 

“You gonna be okay?” Sloan was concerned about his friend, but wanted to be alone with Lex.

“Fine...gonna be fine...gotten pretty good at the alone thing nowadays.” She tried to smile but was afraid she was going to cry and ruin her image as a strong independent woman.

“You sure?” Mark’s voice was deep and low as he studied her.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” 

“Okay then, I’m going to give Little Grey a ride home. It’s...ah...going to rain.” He cringed slightly at the lame excuse. When didn’t it rain in this damn city?

“You just do that.” Callie smiled and sighed. “And thanks for walking me home, guys.” As she closed her door she wondered if the two who had just left realized how intently they looked at each other, and if they did, just how much trouble there would be when Derek found out.  
................  
Mark and Lex walked slowly down the steps to the street. She had her hands in her pockets and didn’t say a word. All the way to his car, her eyes burned holes in some unknown spot in the distance and she didn’t utter a sound.

They were in the comfortable confines of his Porsche 911 when she finally spoke. “Did you want to stay with Dr. Torres?” Her words spilled out; light and breathy as if she were afraid if she didn’t speak as quickly as possible she’d never be able to finish the question.

“What?” She caught him completely by surprise. Only ten minutes ago he’d been about to pound a man into the ground for touching her and she thought he wanted to be with another woman. It didn’t make sense. Women didn’t make sense!

“Well…I mean…I know…everyone knows that you and she have…were…” Her lips trembled and she knew she couldn’t say the words. “Please, you have to tell me the truth.”

“I am.” He gripped her shoulders and pulled her close so he could see her eyes and she could see his. “I want to be with you, Lexie. Don’t you understand that?”

“Mark you have to promise me that if you change your mind, you’ll tell me. I’ll understand…no, I take that back…not understand, but I won’t stop you. I may cry, but then I cry over a broken nail, so…just…just ignore it and please tell me. Don’t move on to someone else and make me find out the hard way.” Her eyes overflowed and he pulled her against him.

“Shhhh, Sweetheart, shhhhh.” He rocked her gently and damned himself for hurting her by simply being who he was. And she was definitely hurting, because she was wrong, she never cried unless she was exhausted, or following intense sex, but even then it wasn’t real jagged sobs, like now. 

“Please, promise me.” She looked up at him and hated to have to ask, but it was too important. This was Mark Sloan, the man who usually didn’t stick around for a second date and they’d been seeing each other for almost two weeks. She didn’t know if she was forbidden fruit and therefore tasted sweeter, but she had to put some safeguards in place.

“Do you want out?” Something deep and dark moved through his soul. “Were you interested in that asshole who was hitting on you tonight?”

“What in the hell are you talking about?”

“Answer my question. Did you bring this up because you were getting bored…?”

“No, no…” she began to shake. “I’m simply trying to protect myself.” With one hand she quickly unfastened her jeans, with the other she grabbed his wrist. “Does that feel like I’m bored or want out, because you’re the reason for that. You and no one else.” She had his fingers buried between her lace panties and her abdomen, trapped against her warm wet skin.

“Oh god, Sweetheart,” He wrapped his arm around her and pressed her face into his neck and shoulder, so no one would recognize her if they happened to look inside the car. He figured they were safe, three blocks from the bar, late on a dark night. But he wasn’t taking any chances that Lexie might end up being known as one of his women.

He’d never taken a woman in his car before. It was one of his cardinal rules, but he didn’t think he could stop if his life depended on it. His fingers curled against her and dug deeper. 

She whimpered against his neck and bucked as she spiraled out of control. “You have to stop…I can’t take much more…I can’t…”

He ducked his head until his beard caressed her ear. “I’m not stopping until you come for me.”

“But…but…”she whispered as her body tightened.

“Lexie, come for me.” His fingers moved upward and she gasped his name over and over again as she exploded around his skillful touch. But he wasn’t satisfied and kept pushing his restraint and her need. “Again,” he growled, marking her in the only way he knew how. 

She lost track of time. All that existed was his touch and her need for it. She shook as his insistent hands moved over her body again and again. 

Later, she lay trembling in his arms, unable to move. He kissed her temple gently and looked her in the eyes. “You already know I’m bad – just how bad…” he shrugged unable to complete the thought. “You should know that you’ve just made a deal with the devil and he expects… I expect…it to work both ways. You’ve got to promise me too.” 

“I don’t consider it completely sealed until I get my hands on you at home,” her voice was husky and strained, whether from what had just happened, or anticipation she wasn’t sure. To drive her point home she grabbed his face and pulled it down kissing him and sucking his lower lip in a promise of what was to come. 

“Oh I can definitely live with that.” He grinned.   
………………….  
By the end of the eighth week Lexie’s flatiron sat in the cupboard next to Mark’s blower drier. Long strands of reddish-brown hair were tangled with his sliver tipped dark hair in the bristles of his brush. Her toothbrush sat in the holder beside his. A pair of women’s jeans and some shirts and sweaters hung in his closet. Her soft, colorful lingerie was mixed in with his boxers and t-shirts.

It was a beginning, a start, neither knew where it would take them or how long it would be before they got there. But they were happy.


	4. Things That Shatter And Transform Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Note** : Title from Friedrich Nietzsche's quote "A thought, even a possibility, can shatter and transform us."

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

It was late, almost 2200h. Mark Sloan had already taken a skin graft from Tom Johnson’s right thigh and was now carefully harvesting a section of the patient’s gastrocnemius muscle from the same leg. Callie Torres and Harry Bennington, the attending orthopedic oncologist, had resected a large tumor that had been wrapped around and invaded the fifteen year-old boy’s femur, just above the knee. Once that was removed the orthopods had replaced the joint and a good part of Tom’s thighbone with customized implants. Plastic surgery was needed to fill in missing muscle mass around the implants and close the gaping incision.

The OR was quiet except for the sounds of monitors and the low hum of voices as instruments were passed. All three surgeons, the anesthesiologist and both nurses were tired from a long hard day.

A low background noise cut into Mark’s focus. He slowly rotated his head from side to side and hunched his shoulders to stretch cramped muscles. As he took a deep breath, before resuming work, he gave himself a moment to listen. Careful concentration allowed him to make out the words over the hospital-wide speaker system: a code was being called.

“Code blue room 316B, code blue room 316B, code blue room 316B….” It repeated ten times before it was finally silent.

“Nope, not one of mine,” Bennington muttered. “That end of the third floor is Vascular, isn’t it?” His question was posed to no one in particular and was met with nodding heads.

Sloan stretched his neck one more time and tried not to think about Lexie. He knew she was on Code Call. Right now, instead of sleeping soundly in his bed at the Archfield or a random call room, she was running through the halls in an attempt to save a life.  
………………….  
Lexie flopped onto a gurney in the hall where the staff vending machines were housed. It was 0100h and she could hardly keep her eyes open. She turned onto her stomach, buried her face in her arms, and tried to block the last few hours from her memory. The team had responded quickly and had worked hard, but there had been too much blood. They hadn’t been able to stabilize the patient enough to move him to the OR. Mr. Thompson had waited too long. Now he didn’t need the aortic aneurysm repair that had been scheduled for the next morning. The softened ballooning spot in the main artery leaving the heart had burst, resulting in the code. Lex had been assigned chest compressions and gotten covered in blood from the waist down, as it oozed out of Thompson’s nose and mouth faster than they’d been able to replace it. 

When time of death had been called and it was all over but the paperwork, she had taken some time to clean up. Her scrubs, underwear, socks, and even her shoes were tossed in a biohazard bin outside the changing room. She’d slipped her bare feet into her OR clogs and shrugged her shoulders as she pulled on a fresh set of scrubs. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d gone commando at work, and unless she remembered to replace her back-up underwear in her locker, it wouldn’t be the last. 

She was just falling asleep when a pager, clipped to the waist of her scrubs, began to vibrate. Instinct made her check the Code Team Call pager she held tightly in her right hand, but it was silent and there was no repeated overhead announcement.

She fumbled for the one at her belt and then grinned when she saw the text message: _Where R U? M_

_U should be asleep. L_ She responded. 

_Just got out of surgery. Where R U? M._ She rolled her eyes when she read the message. He could be persistent when he wanted to be.

_Gurney in vending machine hall. L_ She punched in and sent the message. 

_You shouldn’t sleep there. M_

_Stop nagging. L_

“I don’t nag.” Mark came through the double doors behind her. His long loping stride ate up the distance between them in seconds. He knelt beside her and wished he’d thought to grab a blanket out of the warmer in the substerile of his OR. She looked cold. Since he hadn’t, he did the next best thing; he wrapped one arm around her shoulders. “You’re exhausted. How’d it go, Little Grey?” When she buried her face in his neck, he had his answer.

“Don’t ask,” she muttered against his skin. Taking deep breaths, inhaling his scent. “You smell good.”

“I stink.” He ran his hand up and down her back. “I need a shower.”

“Well, yeah, ya do, but...” She gave him a crooked grin. “You smell like Mark and the scrub soap you use. It helps get the stench of blood out of my nose.”

“In that case…” he didn’t finish his sentence. He simply put his arms around her and pulled her against him. He’d stayed crouched beside her so it was easy to slide her upper body against his shoulder and let her bury her face in the neck of his scrubs. As he held her close, he took a good look at her and saw little things he’d missed before. She wasn’t wearing socks and the t-shirt she’d had under her top was missing. To further test his theory, he ran his hand over her rounded bottom. When he realized she wasn’t wearing anything under her scrubs, he groaned and tightened his hold on her. 

“Mark, no…not here.” She pulled out of his arms; expecting to see his face filled with desire, instead there was sorrow in his eyes. “It’s all right, it is….well it’s not really…all right…he…ah… didn’t make it – blew an aortic aneurysm.” She shrugged, knowing it was all the information Sloan needed to understand what had happened.

“Ugh, messy.” He ran his hand slowly through her hair because he knew it helped relax her and made her feel better.

“Yeah,” she whispered and leaned closer to kiss him so he’d realize she was taking it in stride. “Tonight is all part of what I signed up for when I decided to become a doctor.”

“I know, but…” He frowned not understanding why it made his insides hurt when he thought of what she must have gone through in the last few hours. 

“When I was doing all the postmortem paperwork, I pulled up his films. If we’d been in the OR and all set to start, maybe, just maybe we could have saved him. The aneurysm was located on his aortic arch.”

“Who the hell was going to perform that surgery?” They didn’t have a cardiac surgeon on staff since Erica Hahn had walked off in a fit of temper.

“Dr. Dixon was coming in for it but Jim Smith from Vascular was going to do the vessel repair.” Lexie’s lips twitched when she thought of the ridged cardiac surgeon working with the eccentric head of vascular. 

“Oh, to be a fly on the wall in that OR.” Mark chuckled. “What color is Jim’s hair nowadays?” 

“Kind of a sunny yellow, definitely not any shade that occurs naturally. And if you were a fly on the wall of any OR, some efficient circulating nurse would smack you dead before you could contaminate anything.” She grinned, but her smile didn’t last long. “Smith got there just in time to call time of death. He must have been close by.”

“He’s like Yang, lives for his work. He puts in more hours and takes more than his fair share of attending call. Something most of the surgeons are grateful for, including yours truly.” Mark remembered one particular horrific situation. His patient had scar tissue adhered to an artery and no matter how careful he’d been, he’d broken though. One second all had been going smoothly, the next his scrub tech had a small squirt of blood pumping against his gown. Sloan had clamped the vessel and had his nurse call in vascular. Less than five minutes later Jim Smith had arrived, his favorite headlight already in place over his scrub hat. 

“The man is in his late fifties, he really should get a life,” she snorted.

“He’s tried, but my office manager keeps him at arms length.” When Mark had finally convinced Jenny Kirkwood to join him in Seattle, he’d been thrilled that she’d drawn the attention of the well-known vascular surgeon. “She’ll attend hospital functions with him and I get the feeling they sometimes see each other outside of Seattle Grace, but only as friends.” It was the one and only time he’d tried to play matchmaker and had failed miserably.

“Don’t! Don’t you dare meddle in this Mark Sloan.” Lexie shook her finger at him. 

“What do you know about Jenny, that I don’t?”

“All I know is what everyone else around here does. Jenny Kirkwood still considers herself engaged to the man who gave her the ring she always wears and if she wanted to talk about it, she would.” Lexie felt tears welling up in her eyes. It was something she understood. Her parents had been like that. In his lost and lonely state Thatcher Grey had turned to drinking and rejecting his daughters, because they reminded him of the woman who’d died. It was a far more destructive outlet for his grief, than the one Jen had chosen.

“That’s crazy. She’s worn that ring for the ten years I’ve known her.” It was something he’d always suspected about her, but had never wanted to believe. It was too different from the way he lived his life.

“It may seem that way to you, but if you push her about it or dig where you shouldn’t, you will lose her.” The young doctor was well aware of the almost mother-son relationship that existed between Sloan and Kirkwood. The only woman who was as close to him was Carolyn Shepherd, Derek’s mom.

“You’re right,” he sighed and dug his fingers into Lex’s hair, brushing it away from her face. “Don’t cry, Sweetheart. I won’t do anything that might hurt Jen.” He knew Lex was right. Jenny Kirkwood had a stubborn streak a mile wide. Years ago when it became public that he was having an affair with Addison, she shook her head in disapproval but kept working for him. When he’d left New York to follow his lover to Seattle, she’d refused to have anything to do with it. In Kirkwood’s mind Montgomery-Shepherd was more than fifty percent to blame for what had happened and if Mark was foolish enough to chase the woman across country, he could damn well run his own office.

“I’m not crying…just tied. Go home, please.” Lexie lay on the gurney curled as close to the edge as she could. Her head rested on his shoulder with her face pressed against his neck. She shivered in delight as his fingers moved through her smooth red-brown tresses. “You’ve got an early morning and so do I,” she sighed. Mark’s surgery schedule for the next day was filled with the first group of children from the Cleft Palate/Cleft Lip Clinic. Lexie knew all of their records inside and out. She had wanted to be in on their surgeries, but was assigned to Orthopedics in the morning. “At least I’m only there until noon, since I’ll be post-call, but you’ve got cases booked all day.”

“Yeah and you should be doing them with me. Callie offered to switch interns…”

“She did?” Lex grinned at how pleasant it would be, if he took Dr. Torres up on her offer. “But we can’t.”

“Damnit, this is a teaching hospital and you have a legitimate reason to be there. You’ve been following these kids from their first visits at the clinic. It’s a little thing called continuity of care.” Mark straightened from his place crouched against the gurney and sat beside her, so her body was curled around his hip, as he looked down into her tired brown eyes.

“I’d love to be assisting, but we can’t.” It amazed her that she was more worried about Derek Shepherd finding out about them than he was. “It would look suspicious. Everyone knows you don’t like to teach interns.”

“I like to teach one of them just fine.” He grinned wickedly and ran a finger down her cheek. 

“Mark, behave. We need to be careful.”

“I am careful, you don’t see me sleeping in a little used hospital hallway, with only fire doors, that can’t be locked, at each end.” He glared at her, hoping he had gotten her off the subject of Derek and his obsessions. He was for more concerned about her safety, than he was Shep’s need to control his life. 

“Interns have slept on these gurneys for decades and nothing has happened. If residents and attendings wouldn’t use call rooms for things other than sleep, then maybe the rooms with locks on their doors would be available when they are needed for a lowly intern who is actually on call.”

“Lexie…” 

“Besides,” she pouted. “I can’t sleep in any of those rooms, they’re haunted by all your…your conquests.” 

“That’s the most redicu--.” He stopped mid-sentence, struck by the vulnerability in her eyes. “You’re jealous…”

“Am not.” She countered.

“Are too.” He grinned.

“Am not!”

“Shut up,” he whispered and silenced her with a searing kiss.

“You don’t fight fair,” Lexie murmured, when he pulled back just far enough to see her face. “And you’re overprotective.”

“Guilty as charged, on both counts.” Mark nodded and kissed her quickly one last time. 

“I haven’t had anyone worry about me since before my mom died.” It was hard for her to admit and she hoped it didn’t make him think she was pitiful again. “It feels kind of nice.”

“What about your sisters?” He reminded her around the lump in his throat. She’d touched the soft inner core of Mark Sloan. A place he hated to admit existed, but knew was showing more and more since Alexandra Carolyn Grey had come into his life.

“I know Molly cares, but she lives far away and is busy with her own family.” Talking about her little sister reinforced her determination to never add to the younger woman’s worries by telling Mol the truth about life in Seattle. “You can’t count Meredith’s sporadic attempts to run my life. She used Derek to try and blackmail you to stay away from me, instead of asking us what we wanted. She ignores me at work and fights with my resident so Dr. Yang resents me more than ever. About the only helpful thing she’s done is let me use her attic…but…she doesn’t realizes that I almost never sleep there. God, I sound pitiful, just tell me to shut up before I completely bury myself.”

“I can count Meredith. She got you out of that crappy apartment and away from O’Malley.” He grinned smugly. “The fact that she treats you like an adult and doesn’t track your coming and going…well…I’m kind of glad about that.” He leaned closer and gave Lexie nibbling kisses along her jaw. “Yeah, I’m very glad about that.” He grinned. His lips were inches away from hers. “Though you might want to think about cutting her some slack. She doesn’t know how to be a sister. It’s hard to go from being all by yourself, to suddenly having someone care unconditionally about you.” As he talked, Mark knew he wasn’t simply talking about Big Grey; he was talking about him, too. “Look at how she almost screwed things up with Derek for good.”

She watched his eyes turn wary and his face become carefully blank, as if he’d said more than he was comfortable saying. “I’m glad you worry about me, Mark,” she whispered. “I worry about you too. I…I care about you.” It was more than she’d planned to say but much less than she really felt. When his eyes warmed and he kissed her gently, she knew she’d been right to go with her gut.

“I care about you, too, Lexie Grey.” He didn’t think, he simply reached into the breast pocket of his scrub shirt and pulled out a keycard he’d been carrying with him for over a week. He’d gotten an extra one from the Archfield’s front desk, but had never given it to her. It was always with him, as he watched and waited, vacillating between wanting her to have it immediately and wanting to guard his privacy. His emotions and his intellect had waged a fierce war. In the end, he finally let go and went with his feelings.

“You want me to have a key to your room?” Lexie recognized the magnitude of the gesture and found it as thrilling as it was frightening

“Yes…no…yes…I don’t know.” He rubbed his eyes and told her the truth. “I know I want to think about you sleeping in my bed while I’m working this afternoon, not buried beneath ten blankets in that cold drafty attic of Meredith’s.” There was much more he wanted but he didn’t dare say it here, they weren’t behind closed doors. 

“Thank you. I’ll…I’ll….” She held the card tightly in both hands. “I’ll never use it unless you know I’m coming over.”

“We’ll work it out as we go along, just like we’ve done all the rest.” Intense blue eyes met deep brown ones. “I know you’re not comfortable about it being a hotel, but for now…” He shrugged unwilling to tell her he’d been looking at condos in his spare time, when she’d been at work. Only Jenny Kirkwood knew about that and for the moment he wanted to keep it that way. 

“When I get off at noon, I’ll go to your place to sleep, but I’ve got to run some errands and then go to my father’s tonight.” She pocketed the card and ran her hands up his arms until she gripped his biceps. “I need to be sure he’s all right.” It was something she’d been doing almost every week for the last year. It wasn’t a pleasant task, but someone had to do it. She brought him groceries and did some cooking, though most of the time he didn’t eat much of what she left in his freezer.

“Why don’t you wait until I’m out of surgery and I can go with you?” Mark knew how badly Thatcher Grey had treated Meredith in the past and he didn’t trust the older man not to turn on Lexie at some point.

“No, it’ll just get messy if you do. He’d be banging on Mere’s door in no time flat and our secret would be out. I refuse to be the reason you and Derek have a falling out again.”

“Humph and you call me overprotective.” He was amazed at how fierce she could be at times.

“I’m not kidding about this. He’s your family.” 

“Okay, Little Grey, you text me when you leave your dad’s. I’ll see if my ‘family’ wants to have a drink at Joe’s after work tonight.” Mark ran his fingers through her hair and gently massaged her neck.

“That feels nice,” she yawned. “Please don’t switch interns with Dr. Torres…” She yawned again. “If you do, you’ll only have help half the day instead of all day long,” Lexie muttered.

“Shhhh, go to sleep, Sweetheart.” He left tiny kisses along her temple as his hands moved through her hair and up and down her back. 

“Promise…Mark….” She fell asleep whispering his names, surrounded by his scent and his touch.

“Shhhhh, babe.” 

When her breathing became slow and even, he carefully disentangled his hands from her hair. He stood and watched Lexie until he was sure she was sleeping soundly. He still didn’t like the idea of her napping in an open hall, but there was nothing he could do about it this time. Though he planned to extract a promise that it wouldn’t happen again. Shaking his head and wondering what had come over him, he turned and headed for the locker room.

Twenty minutes later Sloan walked quietly through the corridors of Seattle Grace. He’d showered and changed into his own clothes. His signature leather jacket was zipped tightly against the stormy night. There was a blanket over his arm that he’d taken from the warmer in the Recovery Room. He slipped quietly into the hall by the vending machines where Lexie Grey was sleeping. Once he’d covered her with the blanket, he gave her one last kiss, turned, and headed toward the Archfield and his empty bed.  
………………….  
Mark arrived at work early the next morning. He had a large green paper coffee cup in one hand and a frown on his face. He hadn’t slept well and it had caught him by surprise. He’d been tired when he’d crawled beneath the covers, but he’d tossed and tuned for an hour before finally falling asleep.

He tried telling himself that his restlessness was because he was used to repeated intense sex each night. He was simply suffering from excess energy. But that didn’t explain why he’d finally fallen into a peaceful slumber when he’d buried his face in Lexie’s pillow and inhaled her gentle scent. 

After parking in the doctor’s lot, Sloan went the long way around, through the ED, and down the back stairs, hoping to find Lex just waking up. He’d brought her coffee and wanted to surprise her. But when he arrived in the hall where she’d been sleeping a few hours earlier, all he found was the gurney she’d used as a bed and the blanket he’d covered her with, before heading to the Archfield.

In frustration, he pounded up the stairs and cut across the lobby to the bank of elevators, pointedly ignoring the nurses who trickled in behind him, as they waited in a group for a car to arrive. Though Mark had slept with most of the women around him, he had no wish to engage any of them in conversation. There was only one female who was on his mind and he’d already missed her once that morning. 

Finally the doors opened and he saw Lexie leaning sleepily against the back wall of the elevator. The crowd, behind him, pushed him forward until he was standing beside her. Very carefully, while keeping his eyes straight ahead, he lowered his right hand to his side and moved closer, until his knuckles grazed the back of her left hand. He heard her breath catch and felt the back of her fingers rub against his.

They stayed that way for nine floors, both ignoring where they were going, simply enjoying the elevator magic that was urban legend around SGH. Then they were alone, all the other passengers where off to start their workday, leaving them standing, staring straight ahead, waiting patiently for the doors to close. When they did and the car started to descend, he turned toward her, slid his hand around until their fingers were interlaced. With his free hand he gently ran his thumb under the dark circles below her eyes. He leaned forward to kiss the top of her head, her temple and was working his way to her lips when the elevator stopped, again. 

He felt her fingers clench his and she leaned her forehead against his chest for one quick moment before the doors opened. “I shouldn’t be later than 9 PM,” she mouthed as she stepped away from him.

Mark nodded once and exited, empty handed, leaving Lexie sipping a grande Americano that he’d brought her and unobtrusively handed off to her, when the car had been the most crowded. ‘None of those damn nosy nurses had suspected a thing,’ he thought to himself, as he grinned and headed toward the men’s locker room.  
………………  
Lexie slept soundly in Mark’s bed, surrounding by his familiar scent and wearing a rumpled t-shirt he’d left draped over a chair. She slept so well she didn’t hear her alarm and was running late when she finally woke up.

After grocery shopping, she drove through one of the worst rainstorms to hit Seattle in years. The wind was gusting and rain pounded on her windshield until she could hardly see. For the first time since her mother died, she breathed a sigh of relief instead of dread when she pulled into her father’s driveway. There were no lights on in the house and she didn’t see Thatcher’s car.

“Dad,” Lex called out as she unlocked the front door and switched on the hall light. The home Susan Grey had kept spotless was a mess. “Dad, it’s Lexie.” But her calls went unanswered. It was obvious her father wasn’t home. She stamped down on the warm thought that maybe she could do some housework and fix him a meal or two before he returned. Her mother would have hated it if she knew someone wasn’t taking care of Thatcher.

She hung up her coat and purse in the hall closet and went to work shoveling through the trash, garbage and dirty clothes that were left in the living and dining room. She lost count of the liquor bottles that went into a large trash bag. It took her over an hour to get the rooms into some semblance of order and start the laundry.

Lexie was working at the counter next to the stove, cutting up vegetables for a salad and keeping an eye on the stew that she was cooking when her neck began to tingle.

“Suzie?” a drunken voice called out from ten feet behind her.

Pasting a smile on her face, Lex turned around and saw her father weaving through the room. “No, Daddy, it’s me, Lexie.”

“Lexie doesn’t live here anymore.” He glared at the woman he’d mistaken for his dead wife. “She left me like all the rest.”

“You’re right, I don’t live here. I’m an intern at Seattle Grace Hospital. I need to live closer to where I work.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, he’d thrown her out months earlier in a drunken argument, but this was the first time since she’d been visiting him that he’d brought it up.

“Fuck Seattle Grace and fuck Richard Weber!” he roared.

“Daddy, please you shouldn’t talk about the Chief like that.” Lexie stepped back. Her father was drunk and in a terrible temper. 

“Why not?” he shouted. “First he screwed Ellis and convinces her to leave me; then he turned Meredith against me when she came back to Seattle; now he’s gotten to you too?” He picked up the salad she’d been making, and threw it against the wall above her head. She ducked as lettuce and vegetables rained down on her head and shoulders. “What’d he tell ya? That I’m weak and can’t keep my women?

“Dad, Chief Weber has nothing to do with this.” Her voice broke as she tried to get out of his reach, but he was surprisingly quick for a man who could hardly stand up and who smelled like he’d bathed in scotch. “I’ve made you your favorite stew. You need some food.”

“What’d he tell ya, God damnit!” he shouted inches away from her. 

“He didn’t tell me anything, not a thing.” She judged the distance to the living room and the hall closet where her coat and purse were hanging and took tiny steps to move around him.

“You stay right there when your father is talking to you!” The hand that had been lying on her right arm, tightened and he yanked her closer. “Now tell me what that bastard said.”

“Nothing, I swear.” She began to shake as she tried to tug free. “Stop acting crazy!”

“You sound just like Ellis,” his words were slurred and he wasn’t sure where he was. “Damnit, Meredith, you sound just like your mother.”

“I’m Lexie, Daddy, not Meredith.” She tried one last time to make him see reason.

“Shut-up, just shut-up. I know exactly who you are, you lying bitch and you can get the hell out of my house, like you were so anxious to do all those years ago.” Thatcher had a grip on her arm and pulled her toward the back door. “But it didn’t do you any good did it, Ellis, cause the weak bastard didn’t have the guts to leave his wife. I hope he broke your heart like you did mine!”

“Let go of me!” She tried to twist free, but he just held on tighter. It was obvious Thatcher was having alcoholic hallucinations. “I’ll go, just let me get my coat and purse from the closet.”

“Get the hell out and don’t come back.” He ignored her protests, as he unlatched the door and used his body weight to shove her out into the stormy night. “That bastard took my first family and when I’d finally found happiness again, he killed her too. You and he killed Susan.” Grey banged the door shut and locked it.

Lexie tumbled down three steps to the back yard and landed on her side in a large puddle. The rain was coming down hard, soaking her clothes and hair, but she felt nothing, absolutely nothing. Her mind was blank and her emotions were stripped away. When they returned, it would all come crashing down around her. She needed to get out of the wet cold Seattle night before that happened.

In a few quick steps she was standing at the back door to her father’s house. When she tried the knob, her hand shook. Lex pulled back quickly. There was nothing she could do. The man she knew as her dad was gone and in his place was a raving drunk. If she went up against him again she was sure that one or both of them would end up getting hurt.

She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing hysterically. “Yeah right,” she muttered. “As if he hasn’t hurt me enough already.” But this hadn’t been physical, well not at least until the last, but since there was nothing that could make her raise her hand against Thatcher Grey, even now, she was sure she’d come out on the losing end, again.

She looked over at the nearest house where Mary and Louisa Talbot lived. But the house was dark, a sure sign that the two elderly sisters who lived there, were already in bed. Both of them were deaf and Lex knew from experience that she could blast hard rock music all night and not disturb them; pounding on their door wouldn’t get her anywhere.

Lexie ran around to the front of the house and tried to open her car, but for once, she’d locked it. Finally in desperation she took shelter under the overhang of the garage. She knew she was missing some small detail, but couldn’t remember what. Her mind had turned to mush during the argument with her father and when he’d pushed her out into the night, thinking he was locking out either Ellis, or Meredith, things had gone completely sideways. 

“God, Mark’s right, I am pitiful.” She shivered with her arms wrapped around her and rain blowing into the tiny patch of shelter she’d found. “I should just go and knock on any of the neighbors’ doors.” But she was too embarrassed and confused.  
……………….  
At the Emerald City Bar, Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloan were having a beer. Derek was waiting for Meredith and enjoying the company of his best friend. 

“We haven’t done this in a while, it’s nice.” Shepherd smiled. “Did my mom give you a hard time when she was here?”

“Naw, it’s always great to see her.” Sloan grinned remembering the advice Carolyn had given him about Lexie. He didn’t think now was the time to share that tidbit with Derek. “Though she took my office manager off for a few hours in the afternoon and my private clinic ground to a halt.”

“Mom and Jenny remind me of Meredith and Cristina. You know that whole, if you’ve got a body to bury, I’ve got the shovel thing.”

“You don’t suppose Mrs. Shepherd knows…?” Mark’s mind was back on the conversation he’d had with Lex. For some reason, he didn’t understand, it was becoming more and more important for him to discover the emotions that would cause a woman to be that loyal and that faithful to one man.

“No, Mark.” Derek slowly shook his head. “If there’s anyone who knows Jenny Kirkwood’s back story, it would be mom, but I’d never ask and even if she did know, she’d never tell.”

“You’re right, sorry, but old habits die hard.” He reached for his pager to be sure it hadn’t accidently gotten turned off. It was getting late he should have heard from Lex by now.

“I’m not keeping you from something important am I?” Derek turned on his bar stool and watched his friend carefully. “That’s the tenth time you’ve check that thing since we got here.” 

“Hmmm…oh that.” Mark grinned sheepishly as he clipped his pager onto his belt. “No…ah…just checking,” he mumbled. 

They sat in companionable silence. Shepherd enjoyed his friend’s obvious attempts to keep from reaching for his pager every few minutes.  
………………..  
Lexie was soaked to the skin and her teeth were chattering when she finally remembered she was wearing her hospital pager. As she pulled it out of the front pocked of her jeans, she gave a small thank you for the ingrained training that caused her to keep it with her at all times. If she’d left it in her purse, it would be sitting in a dry house, along with her coat, car keys, wallet, and cell phone.

“Mark….Mark…Mark…” she muttered as her stiff fingers took ten times as long to punch in her short message. When she pressed the send button she bit her lip to keep from crying.  
……………….  
“Derek, what do you know about Meredith’s father?” The question seemed to come out of nowhere, but as the minutes had ticked by Mark grew more and more uneasy.

“Why the sudden curiosity?” Shepherd’s hand froze with his drink halfway to his lips.

“Not sudden really.” Sloan ran his thumb and forefinger over his mustache. “You’re my best friend and if things keep going the way they are, you and Meredith are going to end up married. I’d just like to know something about the in-laws.” He shrugged as casually as possible. It sounded good. Hopefully Derek wouldn't look to deeply at his answer.

“I think he’s a weak, drunken bastard and if I have any say in the matter, he won’t be coming anywhere near Meredith or Lexie.” He spit the words out like angry bullets and each one hit Mark in the chest.

Sloan visibly paled at his friends reply. “Ya sure you’re not a bit prejudice there?” It had been all over the hospital when Thatcher had struck out at Mere in anger and grief, but the older man’s relationship with his younger daughters was different from the one he had with the eldest. At least Mark hoped it was.

“Most definitely not, he’s….” But he was cut off when Mark grabbed his vibrating pager.

_911…2323 Overbrook Rd. Hurry – L_

“Emergency, gotta go,” his voice broke, as his features turned to ice. Only someone who knew him as well as Derek did, would know that something was terribly wrong.

“Let me go with you, maybe I can help.”

“No,” Mark’s voice was cool and clipped while his fingers were quickly sending a reply to the message he’d received. “You’ve already done enough.” He turned and fled into the rainy night.  
……………….  
 _On my way – M_

Lexie sobbed in relief when she read the message. Her legs gave out and she sank slowly to the concrete with her back pressed against the locked garage door. She wrapped her arms around her shins and buried her face against her knees in an attempt to keep the blowing rain from running down her neck.


	5. Stand or Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Note** : The title is from a quote from Milton's _Paradise Lost_. "To love or not; in this we stand or fall."

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark drove as fast as he dared in the storm. It wasn’t easy to fight his worry about Lexie and stay focused enough to safely maneuver the streets of Seattle in pounding rain. Something was very wrong; he could feel it. He realized it had been wrong most of the evening. He’d tried hard to ignore anxiety that had been creeping up on him as he’d had a drink with Derek and had ended up checking his pager every few minutes.

When he’d gotten Lexie’s text message, he’d tried to convince himself that her old clunker had broken down again and she needed a ride. But she’d had car trouble once before, since they’d been together, and she hadn’t called him, she’d simply arrived late at his hotel, pink cheeked and cold, from waiting two hours for a tow truck on an icy night. He’d glared at her and told her she should have contacted him, as he’d warmed her cheeks with his hands and then the rest of her body with his mouth.

He shook his head at the memory. ‘Yeah, she should have called,’ he thought. But this hadn’t been a call. She’d texted him and the message had a 911 prefix. It wasn’t a code anyone in their profession used casually, especially on his or her SGH pager. 

“Damn!” he muttered into the night. He knew she was smart and resourceful. If something had happened that required emergency care that she couldn’t handle, she wouldn’t have taken time to send for him. In an emergency a plastic surgeon was just another pair of hands. Despite that knowledge, he hoped when he drove down, Overbrook Road, he’d see bright flashing lights from an ambulance and squad cars. 

“But not for Lexie, please she can’t be hurt.” It was his mantra through the dark stormy night. 

When he took the corner of Vine and Overbrook, the back wheels of his sleek black Porsche began to slide sideways into a skid. Mark had grown up in New York, driving on ice and snow, hydroplaning wasn’t all that different. His reflexes were practically hardwired. Swearing at his carelessness, he took his foot off the gas and downshifted, while turning into the skid. Within seconds the car was back under his control.

When he was able to look around there was nothing but the pouring rain and dark sleeping houses. The tight band of fear that had been forming around his chest hitched a bit snugger. He reduced his speed and automatically flipped on the high beams of his headlights to try and make out an address. 

“Come on, Lex, where the hell are you and why didn’t you leave the front light on so I could find you?” he muttered to himself.

Then he saw it, a flash of baby blue to his left and the distinctively rounded bumper of an old VW. As soon as his brain made the connection, he hit the breaks and backed up to take a closer look. It was her car, blocked into a driveway by an older model green sedan, parked at an angle. The sedan’s front left tire was in the grass and its right front bumper was pinned against the left one of the smaller blue auto. Lexie’s car was trapped in place by the larger one.

Sloan pulled onto the drive behind the two cars, left his motor running and lights on as he dashed through the rain toward the darkened house. Rain bounced off his shoulders and dampened his face, but he didn’t feel it.

A bright light caught Lexie’s attention as she sat leaning against the garage door, hugging her legs. The overhang provided some shelter but she was cold and not thinking clearly when a man’s shadow moved quickly past her.

“Mark, please let it be Mark,” her voice was husky and shook but he heard it over the noise of the storm. He veered toward the garage when he saw movement. In no time he knelt beside her.

“Lexie, my god, what happened?” He quickly took off his jacket and wrapped it around her wet shoulders. Where his hands touched her neck, her skin was cold and he understood why she was racked with shivers. Relief at finding her was fast being followed by deep burning anger. “Where the hell is your coat and what are you doing out here in the rain?”

“My…things…are…are…in…the house.” Using the last of her reserve of energy she threw her arms around his neck and pressed as close to him as she could. She wanted to tell him how wonderful it was to curl against his body and absorb his heat, but the words seemed too difficult.

He pushed wet hair off her face and lifted it from beneath the collar of his jacket so she wouldn’t have water running down her back. He needed to know what had happened. She had an odd dazed look in her eyes that was more alarming than frantic tears. 

“You should have waited inside. I came as quickly as I could.” He saw her flinch and wished he’d kept his mouth shut. This was her father’s house, her childhood home, something terrible must have happened or she wouldn’t have been sitting out on a cold, rainy, night in February, wearing only a light sweater, jeans, and Uggs.

“Couldn’t,” she whispered and added cryptically, “No keys.” Another shiver ripped through her and she huddled closer in his embrace. “God, I’m cold.” For a tiny moment she wondered why all of the sudden she could feel the chill, when before there had been nothing. “Please…Mark…no…m…more quest…questions now, just take me...ho…home.”

“Okay Babe, but put on my jacket, I don’t want you getting wetter than you already are.” He found her SGH pager gripped tightly in her right hand when he tried to guide her arms into the sleeves of his coat. “Give me that, Lexie.”

“No,” she wrapped both hands around the small black box that was her lifeline. “Without it I…I…was alone.” She couldn’t give up her one means of communication and fought him when he tried to pry her fingers open.

“Lex honey, I’m here now. Please, give me the pager and get into the damn coat.” His voice crackled with temper and some odd emotion he couldn’t identify. “You’re scaring the crap out of me.”

“I…I…” She hated to upset anyone, least of all Mark. “I’ll…put…put it in my p…pocket, where I usually keep it.” The idea of giving it up sent her to the edge of panic. She shifted to her knees to give her better access to the front of her Jeans. 

“Let me help?” He was about at the end of his rope, though he knew yelling at her wouldn’t change a thing. She’d still be caught in the rain, her clothes and hair soaked. Her hands, that he’d seen do perfect Pulley stitches, were too stiff from the cold to perform the simple task of placing something in her pocket.

Mark wrapped his palm around Lexie’s fingers and held her sodden denim pocket open with his other hand. “There ya go, just drop it in.” As she released the pager, he gave it a shove, pushing it down, until it rested safely in place.

“You’re always trying to get in my pants.” She whispered against his cheek. She could feel his fingers moving against her hip as he pulled his hand out of her pocket.

“Yeah I am, but not this time. This time I’m trying to get you covered up.” He finished getting her arms in his jacket. 

“Wait, I can’t wear this. I’m all wet. I’ll ruin it.” Her mind wasn’t processing facts as quickly as usual. His leather jacket was his favorite. She was well aware of what water could do to it. Though the warm inner lining that still held his body heat felt like heaven.

“I don’t give a fuck about the damn thing.” He gritted his teeth. “You’re freezing.”

“But…” Everything was moving in slow motion. She was well aware that she was wet to the skin, but being locked out of her father’s house had left her strangely numb. Relief at seeing Mark had momentarily torn through her deadened emotions and she’d realized how cold she was. But to face that reality would mean accepting what Thatcher had done…her mind had stuttered and locked it out once more.

“No buts,” he ordered, holding onto his temper by a thread, as he zipped up the jacket, swamping her in it. “Put your arms around my neck and hold on tight, Sweetheart, we need to get you off the ground.” Mark pulled her to her feet and felt her sway slightly before she was able to take her own weight. 

“Please, take me home,” her voice cracked and she bit her lip, refusing to give in to emotions his nearness and familiar scent caused.

“Just one last….” He checked the concrete where she’d been sitting but didn’t see any of her belongings. “What about your stuff…your bag?

“Bag?”

“Yeah, your purse.” A shadowy idea of what had happened to her skittered across his mind, but he refused to accept it. This was Lexie Grey, if it had been Meredith, or even him, then maybe…But things like that just didn’t happen to Lex. She was one of those girls who was raised with loving parents and happy smiley faces.

“What part of my things are in the damn house didn’t you understand?” She hissed at him and curled her fingers in the front of his shirt to get his attention. “Are you really going to make me say the words?”

“Sweetheart…”

“Shut up, just shut up.” Her voice cracked as anger finally broke through her lethargy brought on by cold and emotional shock. “He was drunk, my father was so drunk he locked me out. First he shoved me down the back steps and then he slammed and locked…and locked…” She lacked the energy to sustain her temper. For one second her face crumpled and her body was wracked with shudders. She rested her forehead against her fists on his chest and fought to keep from falling apart. “Please, please Mark, don’t make me do this now?” she whispered. 

“I’m gonna kill the bastard,” he growled as he picked her up and carried her to the car. His dark lethal expression and frozen blue eyes adding serious threat to his words.

“He’s still my father…” Happy memories of a warm gentle man who’d been so much a part of her life seemed like a story she’d heard once but had nothing to do with her.

“Yeah well, him too, but I was talking about Derek.” Mark glared at her, as he set her on her feet and opened the car door. “If that asshole hadn’t meddled in my life I’d have been with you tonight. This would not have happened.” He guided her into the low-slung seat of his Porsche and slammed the door. 

“Damn, damn, damn,” he muttered and turned his face up to the rain in an attempt to cool his temper and lessen his guilt. He’d been the one who listened to Shepherd. He’d been the one who’d let Lexie keep on visiting her dad alone; despite the doubts his internal warning system had been sending him. He’d made a choice and Lex had paid the price.  
…………………  
They pulled up in front of the Archfield twenty minutes later. She’d slept for most of the way. It gave him time to work through his blame and accept it, though he still wasn’t sure what he was going to do about it. Tomorrow he’d figure the rest of it out, but tonight she needed him whole and together.

“Honey, wake up.” Mark unfastened her safety belt and then leaned closer to gently caressed her cheek. “We’re home.”

“What…” Her eyes sprang open as if he’d awakened her from a nightmare. “Where…” she looked around startled, getting her bearings and remembering the events of the evening. “Damn,” she muttered and rolled her head until it rested against his shoulder. “I was hoping it was all a really bad dream.”

“Yeah, me too.” He tipped her chin upward to look her in the eyes. “Are you up for this?” He knew from experience that both the doorman and the parking attendant would be descending on them at any moment. Driving up to the front entrance wasn’t ideal, but his main objective was to keep her warm and get her up to his suite as quickly as possible. The damp, drafty underground parking garage hadn’t been an option.

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

“Yeah, right.” He left his motor running; handed his keys to the valet along with a generous tip; and then turned to the doorman who was reaching for the passenger side door. “I’ve got it, George.”  
…………………  
They made it through the almost deserted lobby and up to the small suite, which had been his home since coming to Seattle, in less than five minutes. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her and she’d buried her face against his neck.

“Oh thank God,” Lex muttered as Mark closed and locked the door behind them. Her fingers had warmed enough to be able to unzip the jacket he’d loaned her and to lean against a chair to pull off her Uggs, with his help. But her mind stalled when she tried to figure out what to do with them.

“Here,” he took the coat quickly and hung it on the back of a chair and left the boots to dry in the hall. Before she did anything else, he picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. 

He put her down long enough to turn on the water in the large stall shower that took up part of one wall of the room. 

“Help me,” she demanded as she pulled at her sweater trying to get it over her head. “I’ve got to…got to get out of these clothes.” When the sweater finally came off, she tossed it into the wastebasket.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Mark retrieved the deep purple cashmere he knew was one of her favorites.

“I’m throwing it away.” She sagged against the wall and worked her pager out of her pocked. Once it was safely on the counter, she attacked the large metal button and zipper that held her pants in place. “I’m throwing them all away.” She knew she’d never be able to wear a stitch of clothes she’d had on when…when…her father…when her father had turned into the Thatcher Grey, Meredith knew.

“But your mom gave this to you the last Christmas she was alive.” He held up the sweater, sure she was making a decision she’d regret later.

“Doesn’t matter.” Lexie gritted her teeth as she began to shiver again. The lovely memories surrounding that sweater were gone, instead all she could see was herself in her parent’s kitchen, with a drunken man who looked like her father, yelling at her as lettuce rained down on her head. He’d looked at her with hatred and confusion, as he’d grabbed her wrist and pulled her across the room to throw her out the back door and down the few steps leading to her mother’s rose garden.

“Damn it, help me get them off!” Her hands shook and she began to slide sideways as she fought heavy wet denim that dragged at her almost transparent panties, trying to rid herself of the Jeans.

“Fuck it!” Mark grumbled, tossing her sweater to the floor. He was damned if he’d let her take a spill, while she argued irrationally over a piece of wool. As he wrapped his arms around her, part of him was glad to have stubborn Lexie back, but she still looked shattered and broken. “Hold onto me, cause if you fall, I’m taking you to the Emergency Room.” It was an idea he’d toyed with in the car, but knew she’d hate to have anyone else see her as she was.

“You wouldn’t?” But she knew he would. It was what she would have done if the situations had been reversed; so she dug her fingers into his shoulders when he leaned down to pull her pants and underwear the rest of the way off.

“Yeah, I would.” He straightened and ran his hands up her back. In one deft move, her bra was unfastened and he slid it down her arms to join her panties, jeans and sweater on the floor. “Now in you go.” He picked her up and deposited her in the oversized stall shower, after checking that the water was warm enough. “You got your balance enough so I can get out of my wet clothes?” He toed off his shoes and was unbuttoning his wet shirt as he spoke. 

“Yeah,” she gripped the safety bar all hotels installed in their tubs and showers. 

“Good, cause I’m coming in too.” He stepped in and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “I’ve got ya, Sweetheart. Relax and get warm, I’ve got you.”

Mark didn’t know how long they stood under the hot water with Lexie’s back pressed against his front. Her head was on his shoulder and her eyes closed. The pounding spray turned her chest, neck and abdomen red but she still shivered and her breath hitched occasionally. Despite her exhaustion and emotional distress it was a battle for him to keep his hands chastely below her breasts, when all he wanted was to explore her silky skin and take her pain away. 

“He hurt you.” Mark’s voice rumbled from deep in his chest, as he kissed a bruise that was blossoming on her shoulder.

“No,” she tried to deny the truth. “That was from when I hit the ground. He didn’t…”

“He did and I’m not talking about the physical, though that’s bad enough.” His words came out like ground glass that cut straight to the heart of the matter. 

“Please don’t,” she gasped and sagged against him, knowing he was already taking most of her weight. “When you’re kind like that, it makes it much more difficult.” 

“I’m not kind. I’m angry, but not with you, never with you.” He kissed her ear and worked his way down her throat, back to the damaged skin on her shoulder. His hips tipped forward so she’d know exactly how he felt about her.

Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them away refusing to give in to her tightly bottled up emotions. If she was going to tell him what happened, she needed as much control as possible. She had to tell someone or the memories would drive her crazy.

“I…I need you to listen,” her voice broke and she took a deep breath before she went on. “I realize the last thing you want is to be needed by anyone, but right now, this second, I need you.” Lex wrapped her arms around behind her and dug a hand into each of his hips. She pressed him tightly against her, stilling his insistent rocking. She knew he offered a trip to oblivion, and would take it if that was all he was willing to give.

“I’m listening,” he whispered against her ear. He was a son-of-a-bitch who usually took the easy way out, but not this time, with this woman.

Lexie spoke in fits and starts letting the story unfold, as her perfect recall played back the events the way they happened. Mark heard it all, uncensored by pride or wishful thinking. He had an idea it was how she was forced to remember things due to an eidetic memory.

She told him about Thatcher’s drinking since her mom had died and that her father had hardly spoken to her in a year of regular visits; of how drunk he’d been hours earlier. So drunk he’d kept confusing her with Susan, Ellis, and Meredith. So drunk that he hadn’t listened when she’d tried to leave on her own, only wanting to retrieve her coat and purse from where she’d hung them.

“Jesus, Sweetheart!” Mark understood women’s bodies, Lexie’s in particular. He was sure he could have her moaning in pleasure, instead of anguish in seconds. If she were any other woman, he would have done it. But he was well aquatinted with how easy it was to use sex to hide pain. He’d turned it into an art form and become a cynical, womanizer, until she’d entered his life. Because of that, she deserved more, so in turn, he gave her supportive silence, despite how much it hurt to listen. 

“He didn’t recognize me, except to toss a bowl of food at the wall over my head. Mark, I’m his daughter and he didn’t know me! He didn’t know who he threw out of his house into the rain. I’m not sure he even knew it was raining, though he was soaked.”

“All your things are in the hall closet?” He finally had the answer to all of the ‘why’s’ he’d posed since getting her 911 text message. It hurt him more than he imagined possible, to think of what she’d been through. He was definitely going to have words with Derek and even if it was the last thing the two men ever did together, he was sure Shepherd would want to be there when Mark confronted Thatcher Grey. Both men had a score to settle with the older man, though neither of them wanted to stoop to his level and do physical damage. It would be best if they did it together. Each could restrain the other if needed. 

“Let go, Sweetheart.” He could feel her gasping, fighting not to give into her emotions. “Cry it out. It’s what you need.” He kept his hands locked together under her breasts. If he didn’t, he would be exploring her silky skin and dark, damp, hidden places. 

“I can’t. It’s too much to process. What I need is you.” Lexie’s head dropped to his shoulder and she kissed his neck in a spot she knew excited him. She was eager for the escape she’d denied herself earlier. 

“You’ve got me.” Mark’s eyes turned blue-black with desire, as she nuzzled the tender area under his chin “Anytime you want me,” his voice was husky as he turned off the shower.

Between hungry kisses in a steam filled room, with wet clothes scattered on the floor, they quickly dried each other. When he ran a thick towel over her breasts she gasped, causing him to do it again and again as he held her trapped in place.

“I can’t take much more of that.” The torture was exquisite but she needed more from him. “Warm me from the inside out, make love to me.”

He froze for a moment at her unconscious wording. They had sex. They didn’t make love, or did they? Was that why she was so different from all the others?

“Please, Mark,” she could hardly form the words, as he took one more swipe at her throbbing nipples with the terry cloth.

“Not here.” He was damned if he’d make love to her among wet clothes she never wanted near her again. Picking her up, he shoved the door open and headed for their bed.

When he had her beneath the covers, he took his time exploring every inch of her. When she rocked her hips and begged him to finish what he started, he simply wrapped his hands around her wrists and slid them under her hips, keeping a tight hold on them while he went back to feasting on her tender skin. 

She was crying openly before he finally relented and moved up her body, sliding slowly into her. He’d kept her balanced perfectly on the edge. The moment he filled her, she burst into a million pieces. Silent screams of his name echoed in her head as he pushed her higher before she had a chance to collect herself from the first time. In the end all she could do was cry great ragged sobs as he took her to the limit and then pushed her over, again and again.  
………………  
Later she lay exhausted in his arms. “You knew exactly what you were doing, didn’t you?” her voice was hoarse. All her emotions had roiled together and burst forth. He’d snuck in the only way she’d let him, through desire. In the end her tears had had the same palliative affect. She was calm and relaxed. 

“You needed to get it out.” He’d been worried she wouldn’t understand why he’d been rough with her. The last thing she needed tonight was another man she trusted, treating her badly.

“How did you know?” She snuggled closer, needing to feel his skin against every inch of hers.

“You did it for me once.” Up until tonight he’d hated remembering the tears that had filled his eyes their first night together. “There was this woman in New York. We were attracted to each other and bored, so we indulged. But she was married to my best friend.”

“Addison Montgomery-Shepherd,” Lexie whispered the name that haunted her.

“Yeah, Addison.” He caressed Lex’s shoulder as he went on. “The explosion that followed cost me Derek’s friendship and eventually Addie her marriage. We stayed together for a while after Shepherd moved here. We thought…I thought we loved each other, until I discovered she aborted my baby. She’d…we’d become pregnant and she never said a word about it.”

Lex gasped, unsure what to say, all she could do was hold him tighter as his story spilled out.

“I wasn’t raised like you were.” He’d told her about his parents before. It was one of the many ways he was different with her. He enjoyed talking and laughing with her as much as he did having sex…making love. “I grew up tougher, but what Addison did, I don’t know, it was a new kind of pain. I did some crazy things after that. Blatantly cheated on her. Drank more than I should have.” He shrugged, hoping she’d realize he was no Thatcher Grey. “I was generally an asshole. Even followed her to Seattle, though I’ve come to believe it was Derek’s friendship I was missing, more than Addie or whatever screwed up thing we had going between us.”

“Mark, please, you don’t have to tell me if it’s too painful.”

“Yeah I do, because you changed it all, you changed me. I’d always been pretty intolerant, and selfish, but when I found out about the abortion, it was like a door slammed on anything good I might feel for people.” He kissed her forehead and then her nose. “But that first night, after you fell asleep in my arms, there were…ah…ah…tears in my eyes. Mind you I didn’t cry. Men don’t cry, but…you let loose all the pent up anger and betrayal I’d been feeling. That’s how I knew what you needed.” He said the last few words fast as if he were ashamed of the feelings behind them. “Now I’m back to being the selfish, intolerant, bastard I was before…well before Addie.” He knew Addison had used him to try and rekindle her already failing marriage. He’d known it from the beginning, but somewhere along the way, he’d lost sight of her objective. 

“You’re not selfish or intolerant.” Lexie kissed her way across his chest.

“I notice you didn’t say anything about the bastard comment or the asshole.” He cocked his right eyebrow and looked down at her. 

“I helped you pick out an anniversary gift for your parents, so I didn’t think it needed a rebuttal. And there are times you can do a very good imitation of an asshole.” She laughed for the first time in hours. When she felt his breath on her face, she turned serious. “Though tonight isn’t one of them.”

“Come here, you.” He wrapped his right arm around her and rolled her beneath him. This time every kiss was gentle and each touch a slow caress. Skin moved against skin as they sighed and gasped. He brought her to climax twice before he slid into her warmth and together they brought joy to each other.

Exhausted, Lexie fell asleep with Mark still inside of her. His heart was still pounding and his breathing had yet to return to normal. He looked down at her face and ran his fingers through her hair. She appeared to be at peace for the first time tonight. “Sleep,” he whispered and tenderly kissed her closed lids

He climbed out of bed to dispose of the condoms and gather up their clothes from the bathroom floor. His clothes were no problem. They went into the valet bag for the hotel laundry to pick up. He wasn’t sure what to do about hers. In the end, he tossed them in the bag too. Once they were cleaned and she was thinking more rationally, she could decide what to do with them. 

“Mark,” Lex murmured in her sleep as he slipped back in beside her.

“Right here, Sweetheart.” He pulled her close until her head was resting on his chest and he wrapped both arms protectively around her. 

“Love you…” she breathed the words as he kissed her brow.

His stomach tightened and he wanted to shake her to be sure he’d heard correctly. Lots of women had said they loved him, but always in the throws of passion, never like this. Never like they really meant it, never on the edges of sleep where lies didn’t live.


	6. Club's Adjourned

Lexie woke slowly to the comfortable feeling of Mark running his fingers through her hair. The deep thump of his heartbeat was under her right ear and he held her tightly against his side. “’Morning,” she whispered hoarsely, a small smile on her face as she tipped her head back, wanting him to be the first thing she saw on waking.

 

She blinked once, in the grey dawn. Her head hurt. She felt strange and her heart was oddly heavy. One second she was fighting her way awake, trying to recall why she felt as if someone had died and the next second it all came back to her. She gasped lightly and held on tighter to Mark.

 

He saw her eyes flash with pain, the moment she remember the altercation with her father the night before. All he could do was watch and fold his arms around her. “I forgot for a moment. ” Lexie gulped and let her eyes fluttering closed.

 

“It will be all right, I promise.” He felt helpless. He hadn’t been there when she’d needed him the most but that was not going to happen again.

 

“Thank you for everything you did last night.” She was aware of three things. Her head hurt from crying. Her world had been turned upside down by her dad; and Mark Sloan had been incredible in every sense of the word, when she’d needed him.

 

“I did too little, too damn late,” he growled. “If I’d have been there when it mattered, you would have been safe.” He didn’t think he’d ever be able to forget finding Lex huddling against the garage door, shivering and wet from the cold rain. “If I hadn’t listened to Derek, if I hadn’t agreed to keep us a secret, I’d have been there with you--”

 

“Please, not now.” She interrupted, knowing it would take all her energy to stay focused. “I need to get through the day. I’m in clinic with you, so it won’t be bad.” As exhausted as Lexie was, neither of them suggested that she call in sick. Like all the other residency programs in the country Seattle Grace’s didn’t build in any sick days. If Lex called in, one of her peers would have to cover for her after already putting in eighty hours of their own in the last week, or Mark would have to handle his clinic by himself. As long as she could function safely, she was going to work.  
…………

 

A quick shower and a few minutes with a blower-dryer to untangle her messy bed-head, caused by going to sleep with wet hair, and Lex felt lighter, more herself. As long as she concentrated on the day ahead and didn’t let her mind wander to the night before, she would make it through her shift.

 

She was surprised by how much of her wardrobe had accumulated in Mark’s dresser and closet. She had her choice of a number of long-sleeved t-shirts, three sets of clean panties and matching bras, socks, and two sweaters. Slipping the deep green shirt over her head, she reached for a pair of heavy green and grey striped socks.

 

“Here,” Mark handed her a pair of dark gray cords, she’d forgotten were at his place. “Or do you want your other pair of jeans?”

 

“These are great, thanks.” She pulled on the slim fitting corduroy pants and smiled, but the expression didn’t reach her eyes. “Are we running late?”

 

“No, we’ve got enough time to pick up coffee on the way.” He dug his fingers into her hair, pushing it back so he could see her face. “Are you sure you’re up to this. I’ll get Jenny to give me a hand in clinic. She’s coming in today anyway.” Jennifer Kirkwood ran Mark’s office and private clinic and had been with him for years. She wasn’t a doctor or a nurse, but she knew the ins and outs of his practice as well as he did. 

 

“I need to work today.” Lex rested her hands on his chest. “I need to think about someone and something other than myself and what happened. If I don’t, I’ll keep playing it over and over in my head looking for that one moment that it all went crazy; that one thing I could have done differently to change the outcome.”

 

“It’s not your fault, Sweetheart, none of it.” He grasped her chin and looked her straight in the eyes. “If work is what you need, than I’ll keep you so busy you won’t know what hit you.” He kissed her forehead knowing that no matter how tired she looked, the best therapy was to give her other things to think about. "I can't imagine what it must be like to have a photographic memory. Being able to recite the periodic table without blinking an eye is fun and a great way to win beer money, but never being able to wipe away the bad things.” He shook his head in wonder. “I’d go nuts.”

“The trick is to balance the unhappy moments with the happy ones.” She gently ran her fingers through the scruff on his chin and cheeks. “And you Dr. Sloan have given me lots and lots of happy ones.”

 

Ten minutes later they were about to go out the door when they realized Lexie’s only coat was hanging in the hall closet at her father’s house. Mark handed her his thick New York Athletic Club hoodie. “No argument.” He leaned close gently tapped her lips with two of his fingers. “You’re going to stay warm and dry. And I am going to drop you off at the ER entrance before I park. You’re not walking from the lot in this storm. Do you have your hospital ID?”

 

“Yes, I keep it clipped to my pager when I’m not wearing it.” Before 6AM all the doors to Seattle Grace were locked except the one at the Emergency Room and a security guard was stationed at the door. Unless you were a patient, it took a hospital ID to get past him. It didn’t matter if he knew you or not. 

………………

Clinic made the morning fly. It was almost 1400h when Jen Kirkwood showed up with two sandwiches and some coffee for the doctors.

 

“Thanks, Jenny, we’re starved.” Mark grinned and took the tray to the clinic desk. “Grey, wash up, lunch is here.” He called to Lexie who was making careful notes on their last patient.

 

When he joined her at the small scrub sink in the back, he noticed a dark smudge on her arm. Lex had pulled up her long sleeved t-shirt. Just below her right elbow there was a bruise peeking out.

 

“Did I do that?” Mark looked with horror, as he shoved the sleeve higher and saw dark finger shaped black and blue marks. 

 

“Ahh, no,” she whispered, looking around to be sure they were alone in the room. “My…uh…Thatcher,” her voice broke in her effort to distance herself emotionally from her father. It took her a moment to realize it was what Meredith did. “When he grabbed my arm to---”

 

“That God damn son of a bitch.” Mark’s words were deep and succinct. His eyes froze over while his head felt like it was going to explode. It took all his control to keep from losing his temper. He knew it was the last thing Lexie needed right now. “You should have showed me last night. It needed to be iced.” His professional wall crashed and his eyes slammed closed. “I should have been more careful with you.” He’d used sex to drown out the pain and anguish in her eyes and he hadn’t always been gentle.

 

“No, don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.” She insisted. “You were perfect last night. You knew exactly what I needed.”

“God, Lex, that’s no excuse. You’re such a tiny thing.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. His forehead rested on hers “Those could very well have been from me.”

“Yes, they could have been.” She rose on her toes and kissed him slowly. “But they aren’t and if they had been, it wouldn’t have hurt. You would never hurt me.”

“Dr. Sloan,” Jenny Kirkwood called from the other room, reminding Mark and Lexie that they weren’t as alone as they’d like to be. “There is a call from Dr. Hunt. He needs Dr. Grey in the ER as soon as clinic is over.”

“Tell him I’ll be right there,” Lex answered and turned to finish washing her hands.

“Damnit!” Mark grumbled. “You are exhausted and need to eat.”

“I also need to learn and…uh…keep busy.” She smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss. Her still damp hands buried in his beard were cool on is cheeks. 

“I had plans that would have kept you very busy.” He wiggled his brows at her.

“I’m sure you did.” Lexie grinned, and for the first time that day, her eyes sparkled. “Unfortunately, you will have to wait, Dr. Sloan, since Dr. Hunt can’t.” Lex turned and left the scrub room. 

Moments later he leaned in the doorway, watching her thank Jen for bringing them food.

“Bye, guys,” she smiled at Mark and Jenny with her lunch in hand. The last he saw of her, she took two big bites of sandwich, chewed and walked quickly down the hall. At the stairway door she balanced her food and her coffee in one hand, turned to wave, one more time, opened the door and was gone.

“Damnit!” Mark growled. He forgot he wasn’t alone and slammed his fist against the desktop, hard enough to make silverware rattle.

“Easy there, Mark.” Kirkwood warned. “It’s hard to do surgery with a broken hand.”

“What?” He blinked at her in surprise. “I…uh…well…it was more noise than anything.” He equivocated, while carefully inspecting his hand to be sure there was no broken skin and flexed his fingers checking function.

“What was that all about?” Jenny put one hip on the desk and crossed her arms; refusing to back down eventhough she could see anger pouring off the man, since he had verified that no damage had been done.

“I really do not want to talk about it.” He glared at his stubborn assistant.

“Mark…” He recognized that tone of voice. It was the same one she used when she was keeping a sales rep from trying to take up his time. 

“Damnit all, Jenny, this isn’t any of your business!” He sat defiantly in the desk chair, handed her the piled with charts, and picked up his corned beef on rye with mustard.

“Usually I would agree with you.” Kirkwood shot him one of her deadliest looks. “Anything that makes you pound furniture comes under the heading of ‘protecting the wellbeing of your practice’. That is under my domain.” It was that voice again, the one that sent seasoned sales representatives scurrying without catching a glace of Dr. Sloan. 

“Jenny, please.” He tried one last time, but like those reps, he caved. “All right, you want to know?” His shouted, frustrated that a woman who was 5 feet tall and he doubted weighed more than one hundred-and-five pounds could twist him to her will, especially when there was no, and had never been, any sex between them. “I feel like my insides have been ripped out and it doesn’t make any sense.” He growled at the chair across from him where Lexie should have been sitting.

“Sure it does.” Jen smiled gently. Love had come to Mark Sloan, at last, if she was any judge and this time it looked like the real thing. “That girl, who just walked out of here, is in pain and it is tearing you apart.” 

“That’s bullshit!” He challenged the woman who was old enough to be his mother. “Yeah, Dr. Grey has some family issues, but that doesn’t effect me. Her work is as good as ever.” 

“You care about Lexie Sloan and anyone with a pair of eyes can see it, and she cares just as much for you.” Jenny slid off the desk and put the charts down so she could concentrate on Mark.

“Well sure, but… no, no, no. I know you Kirkwood. You are a romantic,” he spit the last words out as if they were poison. “It is not what you are implying.” He surged from his chair and pulled away from his office manager. “Who do you think I am, Derek, with his fluffy hair and ‘love me forever attitude’?”

“Nope, you are Mark Sloan.” She grinned, loving every minute of the coming revelation.

“I sure am and women, nice women like Lex don’t love guys like me.” He declared unsure if he was trying to convince Jen or himself. “Besides, even if she did, I am not that kind of guy, the kind that settles for one woman, that settles down at all.”

“Then why are you having me scout properties for you in Seattle? You hate this city. You can’t stand the rain and lack of four real seasons.” His office manager’s greys eyes turned almost black as she sunk her teeth into their argument. 

“I’ve got you looking at condos and houses for me because I’m tired of living in a hotel and besides, I…uh…could use the tax deduction.” He was sure that would keep her quiet.

“That still doesn’t answer why you’ve got me looking for them here in Seattle. I realize Derek is your good buddy, but somehow I can’t see you throwing away the life you love so much and the professional challenges that excite you, just so you can be in the same town he is. Something or someone else is keeping you here, and I think her name is Lexie Grey.” 

“Oh no you don’t. I thought you were smarter than that, Kirkwood. Take off your damn rose colored glasses and remember what kind of man I am. Remember The Nurses Against Mark Sloan Club?” He growled, but it only made her step closer. She poked him in the chest with her index finger to be sure she had his attention. 

“I sure do.” Jen squinted and kept on jabbing him. A sure sign she was about to lose her temper. She’d been livid when he’d told her what happened, but since things had calmed down with the staff, so had she. “Those empty headed fools. How dare they blame you because they were pea-brained enough to hop into your bed thinking they could change you? Shepherd made sure your reputation preceded you. That whole thing was unprofessional and in poor taste…”

“It is a perfect example why no decent woman would have anything to do with me.” He cut in.

“Poppycock!” she challenged.

“Pardon me?” Mark’s brows rose in surprise and the corners of his mouth twitched upward.

“You know very well what I said.” She folded her arms in disgust. She’d been outmaneuvering Mark Sloan for years and she wasn’t about to let him get the best of her, just when he needed her common sense the most. “Back to the subject of Dr. Grey and the fact that you are falling in love with her.”

“Jenny please, don’t do this to me. I know she’s special.” He finally admitted. “I know that I want much more than I can ever have with her.” He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Any day now, I expect her to see the real me and then she’ll be out of my life forever. Until she does, I get to have her by side for a little bit longer, so I’ll put up with this God-awful rain, this damn city, and this boring hospital. Because when she is with me, nothing is God-awful, or terrible, or boring.”

“Oh, Mark, if there is anyone who sees the real you, it is that girl.” Jen smiled softly. “She loves you.”

“She said she did last night, but I think she was just talking in her sleep. It didn’t mean anything.” He muttered, hoping with all his heart that it did mean something. “I don’t think she would have said it otherwise.”

“No, she probably wouldn’t have, but that doesn’t make it less true.” Jenny Kirkwood closed her eyes and remembered how her love had looked when she kissed him good-bye for the last time. He was in command of flight training at El Toro Marine Air Base. That morning the usually inscrutable Major had been as excited as a new recruit, because he head bad guy in the war games planned for the day. How foolish she’d been not to marry him the second he asked her. How foolish she’d been to be cautious and waste the little time they had together. “I think Lexie is simply being careful. She doesn’t want to lose you anymore than you want to lose her.”

They were interrupted by Mark’s cell vibrating on the desk. He took one look at the message and gritted his teeth. It was from Derek. Mark’s thumbs flew as he answered the text. He requested Shepherd and Meredith meet him for drinks at Joe’s, which translated to a showdown between the three of them. He cared more about Little Grey than he had any woman in his life. There was no way Lexie and he could explore their relationship, if they had to keep it hidden.

Sloan wanted to meet the power-couple of neurosurgery at Joe’s Bar, after all three of them were finished for the day. Since Shep and Big Grey were heading into a short surgery, Sloan figured he had about three hours to give Lex the heads-up on what was happening and try and get his temper under control.  
………

Mark was busy in his office culling through slides on his computer, picking and choosing the best examples of a technique he’d perfected. The annual meeting of the American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery was a month and a-half away and he was giving the keynote address. This year it was to be held in Boston.

“Mark,” Lexie knocked on his door. She had taken time to change out of scrubs and was ready to head out anytime he was.

 

“Door is open.” He called as he saved his work and took off his reading glasses. “How was your day Dr. Grey?” He grinned at her and swung is chair to the side, thoroughly enjoying the view as she walked across the room.

“Good, better than I expected actually, Dr. Sloan.” Lex put her hands on the armrests of his chair, straddled his knees and leaned forward to kiss him. “According to Dr. Hunt I am a promising young surgeon and you are a good teacher.”

“You don’t say?” His brows rose and he cupped her cheeks. “And exactly what would Major Badass know about my teaching methods?”

“Well.” She plopped herself down on his thighs and nibbled her lower lip. “I think his exact words were…” Lexie lowered her voice and tried to imitate Hunt’s facial expressions. “Dr. Grey thanks for the help. I appreciated your quick thinking. You are way ahead of the rest of your class when it comes to neat, precise, and quick sutures. Sloan must be a better teacher than everyone says.” Lex giggled, happy for the first time in the last twenty-four hours.

“I am more than willing to teach some people,” Mark whispered in her ear. He sighed and held her, running his hands through her hair. He found it as relaxing to touch her, as she did to be touched. 

“We should go before I fall asleep like this.” She had melted against his body and didn’t really care if they stayed that way all night, though she knew in the morning her neck muscles would be screaming at her.

“I’ll run you home.” He picked her up and let her body slip down his, until her feet were on the ground. “If we leave now, we should make it to the lot before those clouds open up and try to wash us away.”

“Wait.” Lex held up her hand as he was wrapping his NYAC hoodie around her shoulders. “Wait, Mark, aren’t you coming with me?” She knew he had a clear schedule, until Monday morning, they had discussed it earlier.

“I’ve got something I need to attend to, a meeting. It won’t take long, but order dinner if you get hungry.” He was trying to get her out the door before she asked any more questions.

“What is this all about?” She crossed her arms and refused to budge.

“I’m meeting Meredith and Derek for drinks at Joe’s as soon as they are out of surgery.” He felt his anger mounting. “Damnit, Lex, this is our life. We shouldn’t need to explain ourselves to anyone, but since I let your sister and my friend stick their noses into our business, I have to come clean. Sweetheart, we are coming out of the closet as a couple tonight.”

 

“No.” Tears filled her eyes and dampened her face. Part of her was thrilled that she wouldn’t be his dirty little secret anymore and part of her was terrified that Mark would end up hating her if Derek refused to listen to reason.

He cupped her cheeks and rubbed his thumbs against her skin, catching each droplet. “It will be fine, I promise.” The sorrow in her eyes was almost more than he could take, when another idea began to form. “You do want them to know or has this all been a game to you?”

“No, God, no, Mark, of course I want them to know.” She held him tighter. “I’m sick to death of all the secrecy and sneaking around. It’s just that Derek has been your friend forever. And I’m…well I’m…just me. What if you regret your decision?” Lexie had finally voiced her fears.

“Babe, this isn’t a contest between you and Shepherd. There is no contest. I don’t know what is ahead for us, but we’ll never find out until we own up to those who mean the most to us and let the chips fall where they may.”

“All right, fine, we’ll tell them, but you aren’t doing it alone.” Lexie dug in her heels and refused to budge.

“No, I’m not subjecting you to their pigheadedness.” He ground his teeth. There were too damn many stubborn women in his life. Mark didn’t bother to ask himself why the ones he cared the most about, Lexie, Jenny Kirkwood, and Carolyn Shepherd, could be the most obstinate.

“You are a fine one to be talking about being pigheaded!” Lex glared at him. “Derek and Mere’s actions, and possible reaction, concerns both of us.”

“Lexie, no.”

“Pardon me?” She stood back and stared at him while quickly slipping her arms into the borrowed hoodie. “You are the man and therefore you take the hits? I didn’t expect such a chauvinistic attitude from you. The interns are meeting at Joe’s for beer and darts. That is where I will be Dr. Sloan.”

“You can hardly say I’m taking all the hits after last night.” His voice was laced with pain. It froze her in place and filled her with indecision. She was moments away from walking out. Her back was turned to him with her hand on the knob. “I know you think it’ll break me if Shep and I can’t make our peace over this, but the truth is you are the one who put me back together. I’m not about to give that up, so why won’t you let me protect you, Little Grey?”

“Oh Mark,” she sniffed as tears filled her eyes for the millionth time since her run-in with Thatcher. “I think for the same reason you won’t let you me protect you. It is less painful for me to be hurt than to have you harmed.” She turned and stepped into his arms. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you, but please, please let me be there, too.”

He saw it then, clear as day, this woman wanted to be with him, wanted to be there when things were the hardest for him. He backed her against the door and kissed her deep and hard. His tongue danced with hers until they both had to pull back to breathe.

“You sure you really want to do this?” He asked as he fought to catch his breath and keep his hands from exploring the body that was pressed against his.

“I’m very sure,” she whispered, holding his face in her hands.

“Then you better head on over before that storm hits.” He nodded toward the dark clouds that were gathering on the other side of his window. 

“Okay,” she whispered, holding his face gently in her palms. “And before I take you on the floor of your office without bothering to lock the door.” Lex’s voice was raspy and out of breath. Her cheeks were flushed and eyes dilated.

“Yeah that too, but I was thinking more on the lines of my desk.” He grinned like the devil and ran his hands up her sides provocatively. He wanted her intimately and passionately. Raw lust was something he was familiar with, but the tender caring that only Lexie inspired was new. 

“There would be too much breakage.” She scrunched her nose and stepped away from him, pointing toward his computer, glasses, and a lovely piece of glass art they had purchased when they visited one of the many glass studios located in Seattle. 

He turned to assess how much damage would be done if he simply pushed everything aside and in that moment didn’t care. She was all that mattered. “Lex, I lov--” was as far as he got when he heard his door close and knew he was alone. “Lexie Grey, I love you,” he whispered to the empty room and then kicked the wastepaper basket and sent papers flying.

Sexual and emotional frustration didn’t help Mark’s mood, one damn bit.

……

Mark Sloan was pissed. He’d tried to calm down after Lexie left his office, but nothing he did worked. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this angry. Fury knotted his stomach and made his temper sizzle. Rain beat against him as he charged out of the Emergency Department doors, but the downpour only registered as a minor distraction. He was totally focused on his destination: The Emerald City Bar.

It was three months, two weeks and twenty-one hours since Little Grey had shown up at his door asking him to teach her. It was three months, two weeks and twenty-one hours since everything had changed. Even now he wasn’t sure how it had happened, all he really knew was that it had and he’d never be the same.

His steps faltered as he approached the entrance. If he crossed that threshold and carried out his plan of action, there would be no going back. It might cost him the friendship of a man who was the closest thing to a brother he had. Even as Derek’s face filled his mind, it was wiped away by the lost look on Lexie’s when his headlights caught her shivering in the rain. 

“Fuck it,” he snarled and pulled open the door. Raindrops glistened in his hair and he blinked water out of his eyes as he looked around the crowded room. The place was packed and noisy but he only saw half of the couple he was looking for. 

A group of interns were playing darts in the corner. Lex was at a table beside them, pretending to watch, though her eyes were drawn to the entrance each time it opened. She looked tired and pale. Her gaze met his with quiet desperation, still begging him to change his mind. 

He discreetly shook his head no, his jaw set and eyes determined. Mark was going to see this through. 

Lexie nodded in acceptance and blinked tears away, refusing to let them fall again. Since she couldn’t convince him to change his mind, she would be his moral support.

Wiping a hand over his face in an attempt to dry it, he strode to the bar where Derek Shepherd was having a drink with Owen Hunt. “Where is she?” he grunted when he stood beside his best friend.

“And good evening to you too, Mark.” Derek raised his glass to his lips and smiled. Something had been eating at his friend for weeks, if the taller man’s mood was any indication; it was finally coming to a head.

“Cut the crap.” Sloan squinted. He was spoiling for a fight. The only reason he didn’t pick one with Derek was that he finally understood why the other man had punched him when he’d first arrived in Seattle. It hadn’t had a thing to do with Addison despite what the Chief had been led to believe, most definitely not. It had been about Big Grey, a warning shot, for him to keep his distance from the one woman who was everything to Shepherd. “Where the hell is your girlfriend?”

“She’ll be here soon.” He looked Sloan up and down. “You’re all wet. Forget your umbrella?” It took Derek a moment to realize that even as Mark ordered a drink his eyes were caught by something…someone…he amended, on the other side of the room. “What’s going on?”

“This isn’t anything that should involve you.” Sloan turned to his friend with his drink in hand. He was chilled and wet, but not as chilled and wet, as Lexie had been the night before. The memory of her shivering in the high beam of his headlights sent another bolt of anger to prod his already raging temper. “You never should have gotten pulled into it in the first place.” 

“Mark,” Lex’s soft voice was right behind him. She’d seen his stormy face, as he argued with Derek and couldn’t let him go on. He stood to lose too much. Shepherd was like family to him and she knew what it was like to lose your family. She wouldn’t be the cause of it happening to him. “Don’t do this.” Her right hand curled gently on his arm.

“You know I’ve got to.” His long surgeon’s fingers moved up her sleeve until they skimmed the place where the dark bruises were hidden. The ones that only they knew were there. Just thinking about them and the man who’d put them there make his blood boil.

“All right but I’m staying,” she whispered. Lex tipped her chin upward as her eyes filled and overflowed. 

“I think this is where I excuse myself.” Owen Hunt looked between Shepherd and Sloan. “Have a good night and keep in mind that bruised knuckles make surgery almost impossible, no matter how much of a superstar you may be.” The trauma surgeon turned and walked away, but decided to stay close incase he was needed to separate the other men.

“Mark?” Derek looked from his friend to Lexie and back again. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing that concerns you.” He answered as he pulled Lex tight against his side and carefully wiped away her tears away with his thumb.

“You promised you would stay away from Little Grey.” Derek glared at the couple that wasn’t paying any attention to him.

“But I never promised to stay away from him.” She shot back.

“Lex, hon, you shouldn’t tell him things like that.” Mark never took his eyes off her. “It’s not anyone’s business but ours.”

“He needs to know it wasn’t your fault. It was me, all me.”

“Shhh, Babe,” he kept her tightly against him, his hand running through her hair and against her cheek. “And it wasn’t all you, well at the beginning, maybe.” He laughed when she pouted at him. “But lets face it, the rest of it took two.”

Derek blinked hardly able to believe his eyes. He’d never seen his friend like this with a woman, with anyone for that matter. Something had happened, something had changed Mark and he was beginning to think that it was Lexie Grey.

“What’s going on here?” Meredith joined the threesome. “Derek?” She looked at her boyfriend for support. “You said Mark promised.”

“We are not going through that again.” Sloan let go of Lex and took Mere by the arm. “You and I need to have a talk.” He looked over his shoulder at his friend and nodded toward Lexie.

“Got her covered.” Shepherd answered and watched as Mark guided Meredith to an empty booth in the corner.

“Wanna beer, Little Grey?” Derek smiled. “I’m buying.”

“No thanks, I’m tired and it’s been a tough day, but I will take a Pellegrino.” She watched her sister’s boyfriend as he ordered, trying to figure out what was going on in his head. “Aren’t you angry about all this?”

“That’s a loaded question.” He handed her the cool green bottle filled with soda water, he’d gotten from the bartender. “He hurts you, then I get mad. I was never happy about asking him to stay away. It wasn’t really my business, but Mere requested it.” He shrugged his shoulders and tried to work through his actions for both of them. “It wasn’t simply because I love her, but that was part of it. Mostly it was because I liked that she was worried about you.”

“That’s ridicules, I’ve been taking care of myself for a number of years now.”

He turned toward her, suddenly deadly seriously. “It’s not that. I’m afraid this is my fault. In her second year, I think it was, we had a bad time of it. I hurt her. I…uh…went so far as to call her a whore.”

“Oh my God,” Lex gasped. 

“Yeah, it wasn’t good. I don’t think the only reason she focused on Mark was because of his reputation. I think it had more to do with him being an attending, in a position of power over your career, like I was.”

“But Mark said he wasn’t even interested until you warned him off. He called it planting a seed.” She protested.

“Bullshit!” Shepherd took a drink of scotch and shook his head. “I saw the way he looked at you, called you Little Grey, always found cases for you to assist with. He doesn’t do that with anyone else…ever…and I’ve known him for a long time. I figured you’d tell him off, like I’d seen you do before and that would be it, but that wasn’t it, was it?” 

“No,” her lashes flutter downward and a pink flush gave her pale cheeks color.

“So what set him off? I gather, you two have been seeing each other for a while?”

“I…” she wasn’t sure how much to tell him. 

“That’s his sweatshirt, isn’t it? What happened to your coat?” It wasn’t like Lexie to show up at Joe’s, a regular, hospital employee hangout, in her boyfriend’s clothes, especially if she they were trying to keep things in the down low.

“Yes, it’s his,” she sighed and pulled up the right sleeve of her green t-shirt. It took her a while, but she finally told Derek everything that happened with Thatcher Grey the night before.

“Shit, Lex, I’m sorry. Next time I attempt to protect someone, I’ll be sure I am protecting them from the correct person.” He and Meredith had been dead wrong. If Mark had been with Lexie the night before, her father wouldn’t have been able to touch her.  
…….

“Mark, what the hell is this all about and what are you doing with my sister?” Meredith demanded.

“Oh, so now she’s your sister? Just how does that work?” He glared at the blonde woman. “When you want to boss her around she’s family all the rest of the time she’s someone to ignore?”

“No!” Mere declared. “I’m new to all this. You should understand, we had similar shitty upbringings. We aren’t like Derek and Lexie. We are the dirty mistresses club.”

“Were, Meredith, were. I as far as I’m concerned, club is adjourned. You haven’t been a mistress for a damn long time and neither have I.”

“It’s still hard, knowing what to do and how to act.” 

“That is a piss poor excuse. How old are you, ten?” Mark demanded. “There comes a time to man up. It’s your life, not your mom’s. Sure I had crappie parents, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let their memory ruin the best thing that has ever come along.”

“You really care about her, don’t you?” The truth was finally beginning to dawn on Big Grey.

“Yeah I do. I think I might even love her, but we need time together to find out. We also need to be honest with the people we care about most. No more secrets and hiding. So this is us being honest with you and Derek. If it costs me his friendship, than…well…that’s his choice.” Mark looked over at Lexie in serious conversation with Shepherd.

“There is one thing I need your help with.” Sloan looked grim. “Lex had a run-in with Thatcher Grey last night. He was drunk and it didn’t go well. It got physical, on his part.”

“No,” Mere gasped. “That isn’t supposed to happen to her.”

Mark stood and beckoned the other two people to join them. It lightened the weight around his heart when Meredith hugged Lexie without being prompted by Derek. 

“I’m sorry, man.” Shepherd offered his hand to his friend and they shook. Both knew that all the old wounds were finally healed. “I’m glad you were there for her, when Mere and I were too stupid to see when she really needed help.”

“Anytime,” Mark assured Derek. 

“Hey you.” Lex leaned into Mark’s side and wrapped her arm around his waist.

“Hey, yourself, Little Grey.” He kissed her forehead and pulled her onto the bench seat beside him with his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Lexie leaned against Mark and let the conversation buzz around her. Music from the jukebox played in the distance but she couldn’t place the song. Occasionally a cheer would erupt from the other side of the room, where the interns were gathered. It made her smile to know her friends were having a good time.

Mark’s deep voice vibrated below her ear as he and Derek talked and laughed. Every once in a while, the scruff on his chin brushed against her forehead and his lips kissed her hairline. For the first time since Susan Grey had died, Lexie felt content, safe, and no longer in need of proving herself to anyone. She’d found home in Mark Sloan’s arms.


	7. Epilogue - Stepping Stones to The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”_ – Eleanor Roosevelt

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Late May 2009 -_

Mark Sloan held his umbrella in his right hand. His left arm was wrapped tightly around Lexie Grey. They were standing in the rain, at the cemetery where Thatcher Grey was going to be buried next to his wife Susan. This was funeral number three, in about as many weeks. It was almost too much for even the stoic plastic surgeon to take. He concentrated on holding the slim woman at his side, trying to give her comfort and keep her from shivering in the damp wet weather. 

Damn he hated Seattle.  
 ****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Mid-March to Late May - 2009_

Since that stormy night at Joe’s bar, when they’d finally come clean with Meredith and Derek, life had been better than they expected. Mark and Lexie were happy together. They hadn’t moved out of the Archfield, yet, but had been casually looking at condos and houses in the area, when time permitted. For some reason nothing felt right. They chalked it up to how busy they were.

Aside from Miranda Bailey twitching her brow at Mark a few times, Dr. Sloan and Dr. Grey were not given any grief at the hospital. He believed it was because they had been together for over three months and no one knew about it until they wanted them to. The lovers had been careful to keep things professional at work and it had paid off. 

Despite their status as an ‘official Seattle Grace couple’ they remained discreet. The gossip surged around them, but they tuned it out, knowing acknowledging the talk, would only make it worse. People saw them at night, walking to the parking lot, usually, with his arm wrapped around her shoulders. In the morning, when they arrived, Lexie would have her purse and satchel over one shoulder and a cup of coffee in each hand. Mark would be carrying his briefcase in one hand and his umbrella in the other. He was always careful to keep rain off of Lex and his body pressed warmly against hers.

Sloan had learned his lesson the hard way. He did everything in his power to be sure the entire hospital understood that Lexie Grey was unique in his life and he did it as quietly as possible. It was more what he didn’t do or say that was important. He didn’t flirt with female staff members. There were no more innuendoes or winks across an OR table. He stayed out of call rooms entirely. Mark carefully distanced himself from Callie Torrez. Their sex games had been over from the moment Lexie walked into his hotel room, but he wasn’t comfortable with the friendship or the speculative way the orthopedic surgeon would occasionally look at him. When Addison Montgomery came to town crying about her sick brother and looking for a shoulder to lean on, he’d told her in no uncertain terms that he was happily involved. She would have to look elsewhere for comfort. 

Mark and Lexie had learned from the mistakes that tainted the Derek and Meredith legend. No one caught Sloan and Little Grey in a compromising position in call rooms, elevators, stairwells, supply closets, or anywhere else. Soon the gossip calmed down to fascination, speculation, and wonder. All the while they ignored the whirlwind others tried to create and got on with their lives.  
 ****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Mid-April 2009_

A week before Mark was to leave for the annual plastics conference, Thatcher Grey was arrested for driving while intoxicated. He called Lex in the middle of the night to bail him out of jail. Sloan promised to support any decision she made, but requested that she was always accompanied by Derek or him, if she visited her father, even if it meant canceling his trip to Boston. Derek took the same stance with Meredith and offered to help Lexie when Mark was out of town. Once Molly and Alex learned what had happened earlier in the year, Molly’s husband agreed that until papa Grey cleaned up his act, none of his daughters were to be with him unescorted. 

The three sisters conferenced on Facetime, though Meredith had little to say. Bail was not posted. It was decided that, hopefully, this was the wake-up call the man needed. Derek had a friend who ran a detox clinic in Northern California and would pull some strings, if Thatcher would agree to go.

The senior Grey spent a few days in jail, paid a large fine, and lost his drivers license. He insisted he didn’t need help, had no memory of what happened with Lexie and accused her of lying to gain sympathy from her sisters. Soon he was back to his old habits. There was nothing the girls could do. 

The situation was upsetting for the sisters, but it brought them closer together. For the first time in his life, Mark felt like he was part of a family that functioned as a unit. He remembered watching the Shepherds pull together during times of crisis and joy. Carolyn had always tried to include him, but he knew in his heart that he wasn’t really a Shepherd, as much as he wished he were. This was different.

Lexie took him to Sea-Tac for his 6 AM flight to Boston. He decided he liked having someone see him off on a trip and he was looking forward to having her pick him up in four days.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day before Mark returned from the American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery in Boston. Dr. Izzie Stevens found a lump on her back and was diagnosed with metastatic liver cancer. The young doctor had multiple surgeries, but she realized her tumors were discovered too late. Any treatment was palliative at best, so she chose to forgo chemo. She had plans that did not include vomiting until she couldn’t see straight.

Iz spent her last few weeks driving Meredith Grey up the wall, planning a splashy wedding. She attended in a wheel chair, looking frail but ecstatic. She laughed with joy as Mere was walked down the aisle by Cristina Yang.

It had been Derek’s request that Yang give the bride away, since Thatcher was neither sober nor welcome. It was a symbolic gesture more than anything, but the groom took it and ran with it. It was a wordless acknowledgement that he was now number one in Meredith’s life. 

“It was a beautiful wedding.” Izzy smiled at Lexie who helped her into bed and was settling her for the night. 

“It sure was.” Lex squeezed Iz’s hand in reassurance. 

“Yours will be too.” The blonde smiled, sure that another Grey sister was going to tie the knot in the not to distant future. “But this one was special. I’ve been planning it for years.” Her voice drifted off and then came back stronger. “I just wish I had gotten there sooner. If I hadn’t taken so long to change my dress I would have been with him when he died.” The last words were slurred and her eyes fluttered.

“Izzie, Izzie, are you with me?” Lex quickly reattached her patient’s chest leads and took her blood pressure, and then watched the tracing on the EKG monitor.

“It was the night Denny died. I was too late.” Izzie sighed. 

“Is that the Denny you named the clinic after?” Lex knew some of the story from Meredith.

“Hhhmm” Her patient nodded her head, deep in memories.

“Izzy?” Grey checked her vitals again and the orders on the chart. Stevens was listed as ‘do not resuscitate’. It made the young intern’s stomach twist. She’d grown to like and respect the blonde doctor.

“The month before I found the lump, I’d catch his scent in the strangest places, the lobby, the corridor outside of cardiac, and once, just once, right outside the gift shop. It was like I was walking right past him. I wish…I wish…I could see him again.” 

“Izzy, what day is it? What city are you in? Who is President of the United States?”

“It’s Meredith’s wedding day” She smiled. “Mere finally married her McDreamy. You don’t have to check my mental status because it doesn’t matter. Soon I’ll be in that elevator…the door will open and…uh…he will be waiting for me, I hope.” The words fell quietly from her lips, as she closed her eyes for the last time.

Lexie quickly paged Bailey, Cristina, Alex, Meredith, and George. Iz’s heart rate was irregular and her breathing ragged. 

Lexie waited in the hall. She gave the close-knit group in the room a chance to say good-bye to the unconscious woman. 

“How are you holding up?” Mark cupped her right shoulder with his hand and massaged her tired muscles with his thumb. 

“It’s hard, but it has to be harder for them.” She nodded through the glass.

“Come here, Babe.” He held her against his side. The scruff on his chin rubbed her ear and he nuzzled her neck.

“We’re at work, and I’m on duty.” She chided but took strength from leaning into his warm comfort.

“It won’t matter just this once. It’s late, and besides, if Yang will take support from Hunt…” He shrugged and held Lex closer.

She nodded, grateful for his presence. Together, they stood their own vigil in the corridor. In the room with the dying woman, Cristina leaned against Owen Hunt. She refused to cry, but her eyes burned with deep sadness. Meredith wept against Derek’s shirt, as he held her tightly beside him on the floor. This was not how either of them planned on spending their wedding night, but neither would be anywhere else. George and Alex took turns pacing in front of the window. In their own way, both had loved Izzy, and both knew that her heart belonged to another man. Bailey sat alone in the corner, her lips moving in silent prayer.

An hour later, surrounded by her friends, Isabelle Stevens smiled and whispered the name “Denny?” In seconds the alarms attached to her monitors, wailed. With tears running down Miranda Bailey’s face, she pronounced her student dead.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five days later George O’Malley was walking home from the hospital. He’d worked the last twenty-four hours and wasn’t watching where he was going. A bus heading back to the terminal after working the Owl shift, hit him. He died instantly.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last funeral was for Thatcher Grey. Despite losing his driver’s license the month before, he’d taken his car out to buy liquor. It was storming and he hadn’t wanted to walk in the heavy rain. Turning into his street, he’d lost control of the small sedan and hit a tree. Since he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt, he was thrown through the windshield and died instantly.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_May 12, 2009_

It took Molly and Lexie, with the help of Meredith, Derek and Mark a week to wade through the mess that Thatcher had made of the house the younger girls had grown-up in. 

“How can the life we had here with mama have meant so little to him?” Molly looked around in tears at some of her mom’s favorite pieces of furniture that appeared to have been pounded on with a bottle. Shards of glass were everywhere, mirrors broken and pictures smashed. “It’s like once she died, he tried to destroy every memory of her that was left in this house.”

All Meredith could do was shrug. For once in her life she felt like the lucky one. To have grown-up knowing her father didn’t care seemed easier than to discover someone you thought loved you, would throw you away.

“Lets just sell the house. I don’t want anything to do with it ever again.” Lex leaned against Mark for support. “Or if you want it Molly, it’s yours.”

“No, I don’t,” the youngest Grey said in tears. “But Lex, mom’s dressing table, the one that had been her mom’s is still intact. You always loved it. It should be yours.”

“I don’t have anyplace to put it.” She sniffed, thinking about Mark’s crowded room at the Archfield.

“We’ll make room, until we find a place of our own.” Sloan suggested.

“We can keep it for you.” Meredith cut in. “It’s a lovely piece of furniture.”

Derek sighed and shook his head. “Tom Hendricks is the contractor for our house.” He smiled at Mere reassuringly. “I’ll ask him if he knows anyone who does renovations. You’ll get more for it that way.”

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lex was numb from sorting through Susan and Thatcher’s possessions and the ones she’d left stored in their basement. She kept a few things other than the dressing table. Molly had wanted Susan’s china, but almost everything else was given to Good Will.

Mark lay in bed with his arms wrapped around Lexie, listening to rain hit the window of the hotel room. He was slowly rubbing her back to loosen tight muscles that she’d kept clenched for the last few days. 

“I hate Seattle!” She glared. “I really hate this city. I think that may be why I’m having such a hard time deciding on a house.”

“Do you mean that, or is it grief talking?” He nuzzled her neck and tried not to get his hopes up.

“Of course I meant it. Next time we see a place you like, you should go for it. If you want it, It’s fine with me.” She turned so she was looking him in his sexy blue eyes.

“No, that’s not what I was talking about. Do you really dislike this town?” He fought to keep the keep the excitement out of his voice.

“I only came back last year because my mom died. And now…well…” She ran her fingers up the firm muscles of his belly to his chest. “Well there is only one person keeping me here now.”

“Your sister.” He was happy for the two women. Their relationship had improved, but he knew it still wasn’t what Lexie hoped it would be. He wasn’t sure it ever would be. Lex gave her whole heart to people. Big Grey was so careful with hers, it had almost cost her Derek.

“Meredith?” She laughed. “No silly. You, you are the only reason I haven’t looked for another residency program somewhere back East. There has to be a teaching hospital that is down one person since the Intern Exam, though I kicked ass on mine.” She smirked. 

“You sure did, Babe.” He wrapped both arms around her and rolled her beneath him. “How would you like to go back to Boston?”

“What are you saying?” She tried to slide her elbows under her body so she could sit up, but he had her pinned. His long arms held hers out to the side and his chest pressed into her.

“I’m saying Massachusetts General, Babe. How would you like to go back? The shit hit the fan, around here, before my plane had touched down at Sea-Tac, and hasn’t stopped, so I waited to tell you what happened.”

“What’s this all about, Mark?” Her heart was racing. She loved Boston, but she love him more.

“The first night of the conference, I had drinks with Carl Weatherly. He is an old friend from medical school. It turns out he’s head of the search committee at Mass Gen that is looking for a replacement for John Mackey who is retiring in the fall. They need a new Chairman of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. I was one of a very short list of candidates. Once he saw my presentation, he cornered me for an interview over dinner. Right there at the hotel.”

“What did you tell him?” She was thrilled for Mark, but she had a career of her own to think about. 

“That I had to think about it and---”

“Oh,” she nibbled on her bottom lip. “Is it a good offer?”

“Oh, yeah but, Lex, I’d never go without you. I don’t say it very often, but I love you.”

“I love you, too, but I can’t…I’ve put too much into my career to just…on God, this is one of those times when being at different stages in out lives makes a difference, isn’t it?” Tears filled her eyes as she remembered Dr. Montgomery’s snide remark, when she’d come to town to try to convince Derek to go to LA to operate on her brother. 

“What? No, where did you hear bullshit like that?” He glared, knowing the old Mark would have taken off and left her with little more than a good-bye, but the man he was today would stick it out in Seattle until her residency was finished, longer even, if she wanted to stay.

“Addison Montgomery said it would be our downfall.” She pouted, glad Shepherd had sent her packing, saying he had surgeries scheduled and was not about to operate on a man who was basically family.

“She’s a spiteful bitch.” He kissed her until she smiled. It made no sense, but she was insecure about the aging redhead. “Lex, you were accepted a year ago, so it isn’t a question of not getting in on your own merit.”

“I doubt sincerely they went a year without replacing me. I’m sure my spot was filled in a matter of hours.” She grimaced. “Besides, I don’t want to go into general surgery, anymore. I want to be a plastic and reconstructive surgeon. I’ve been told by a man who should know that I’m a natural.”

“You sure are,” he beamed at her. When they’d performed a face transplant, just before Izzy became sick, he’d been so proud of her. “The program at Mass Gen is better than here in Seattle. Like almost every other teaching hospital in the country, except SGH, residents start in their specialty when they report back after their Inter Exam.”

“I know,” Lexie sighed. “And you’ll be there.”

“Not without you.” He kissed his way across her cute nose. “I told Carl about you.”

“You did not.” She gasped in disbelief.

“Of course I did.” He kissed her again and took a deep breath. “I love you, Lexie and want to marry you. I would not take a job on the other side of the country, unless they had a spot for my wife, too.”

“Mark, did you just propose to me?” Her stomach did flip-flops and she wasn’t sure she heard correctly.

“Yeah.” He grinned. “I must not have done a very good job if you have doubts, so, Lexie Grey, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I will marry you Mark Sloan.” It threw her for a loop, but then he was always doing that. After her mom had died, she’d promised herself that she wouldn’t get involved with anyone for ten years, or until she had her practice up and running, which ever fit her professional life better. Then Mark Sloan had sat down next to her one night at Joe’s bar and asked her to recite the Periotic Table and her life hadn’t been the same since.

When they stopped kissing, he reached into his nightstand drawer and pulled out a navy blue velvet box. “I bought this when I was back east. I’ve been waiting for things to calm down before I asked you. I love you Little Grey and want you with me forever. It doesn’t matter if we are in Seattle, Boston, New York, or Timbuktu. Home, for me, is wherever you are.” He opened the box and slipped a 2-caret flawless Asscher cut diamond ring on her finger. It was set in platinum.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unlike Meredith and Derek, Mark and Lexie had a small wedding held in the chapel at Seattle Grace. Rev. James Christie, the hospital chaplain preformed the ceremony. They had a party at Joe’s and the next morning, left the Archfield and Seattle behind. Derek would take care of shipping Lex’s possessions that were stored at Mere’s as soon as they could give him an address.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark found the perfect home for them through the brother of an old friend. It was in the Beacon Hill area on Chestnut Street. On a nice day they could walk to the hospital in eleven minutes. Lex almost passed out as they walked through their new home the first time.

“Oh my God, look at those light fixtures.” She had always loved old architecture. “This place looks like it was built in the eighteen hundreds. “It’s like a museum. I can’t afford this.”

“You might not be able to afford it, but, Mrs. Sloan, we can.” He took time to explain his financial situation. It was something he had always taken for granted. Though his parents hadn’t been good at showing affection, they had been spectacular at making money. His dad had inherited a hefty amount of capital and turned that into a great deal more. 

“So what you’re saying, Mark, is that your job as a surgeon is a hobby?” She was confused and unsure where she fit into the life he was used to.

“No, I love what I do.” He put his arms around her and kissed her gently. “I love you more, but it is far from a hobby.”

“This is going to take some getting used to.” She shook her head and kept exploring their new home. It was a shock that Mark came from old money, but as long as he kept on being the man he was, it didn’t matter.

Lexie started work on July 10th with all the other second year residents. Mass General didn’t use the term intern; instead a first year was a resident. Plastics had lost a person from their program. He had volunteered to spend a year in Ecuador at a small clinic. Richard Weber had sent a glowing recommendation of Dr. Grey and with her test scores it was an easy fit. She was more than happy to slide into his spot and they were glad to have her.

Mark officially started the following month, though he was shadowing John Mackey and sitting in on staff meetings for two weeks before that.

They worked hard, but loved being back in a major metropolitan New England city, though Mark refused to cheer for the Red Sox or the Patriots. When it came to sports he was New York all the way. 

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_December 2009_

A young blonde woman showed up at Dr. Sloan’s office claiming to be his daughter. A DNA test quickly proved her statement incorrect. Though Mark had known her mom years ago, he was not the girl’s father despite the fact she’d been named for him. 

“Part of me feels sorry for her, because you will be a great dad.” Lexie curled into his lap in his favorite chair in their den. There was a fire roaring in the fireplace and Christmas was only two weeks away. 

“I will?” His brows shot up in doubt. They had never discussed the subject of children. Mark had assumed that ship had sailed when Addison aborted his baby, simply because it was his. Things were different now, but he was still the guy with a past of too much casual sex and too many one-night stands. But…now there was Lexie and there was nothing one-night about her. She was a forever girl. Maybe, just maybe… 

“Don’t you want children?” She looked confused and hurt. “We never talked about it.” 

“I don’t know, Sweetheart” He closed his eyes and tried to picture himself with a child and all he could see were his parents shuffling him out of their way, so they could attend another business function. 

“I…I” Lexie stumbled over her words as she tried to tell him what she really felt. “The reason that only part of me is sorry you aren’t that girls father is because I want to be the only woman to have your children.” 

“You want to have my children?” He cupped her cheeks with his hands and looked her in the eyes, needing to know the exact truth. 

“Of course I do. I love you and if I ever see Addison Montgomery again, I’m going to tear out her red hair by its greying roots!” She knew exactly who made her wonderful husband doubt himself and it made her seethe. 

“That’s my little tiger.” He laughed and pulled her closer while slowly divested her of her clothes, as she worked on removing his. 

_May 2011_

Mark and Lexie had recently bought a second home in The Hamptons. They were unloading staples in their new kitchen, when the news came on the radio. Seattle Grace Hospital had been the site of a shooting rampage. A man had walked in and began randomly killing doctors. 

Meredith called them while they were eating take-out Indian. Lex had left numerous texts with her sister and Derek, knowing that one of them would get in touch with them when they could. Mere was shaken and exhausted, but said she was fine. Derek had been shot and Cristina had preformed an amazing surgery that saved his life. Alex was wounded but in stable condition in the ICU at Mercy West. There were deaths and causalities and something else in Meredith’s voice that Lexie couldn’t place. 

“What else?” She dug. “There is something you’re not telling me. Is Derek awake yet? What’s his prognosis?” The younger sister had a terrible feeling that whatever it was had broken the unshakable Big Grey. But Mere cut the call short, stating the need to return to her husband’s bedside. 

“Come on, Babe, we’re heading to Seattle. We’re got the weekend off anyway.” Mark walked into the kitchen with their carryon luggage in each hand. “This place will be here the next time we have a few days off.” He moved quickly, helping his wife clean up and put things in the fridge. “I just booked us on the midnight flight out of Logan. Owen Hunt will meet us on the other end. From what he said, everyone who is still standing is in shock.” 

They spent the weekend with Meredith. Derek was awake, out of ICU, and able to carry on a lucid conversation by the time they left on Sunday. 

“God I’m glad we moved back east when we did. That could be one, or both of us, in one of those hospital beds. ” Mark raised the armrest between their first class seats and pulled Lexie closer for their trip back to Boston. 

“She lost a baby during all the craziness with the shooter.” Lex’s eyes filled with tears and she gripped her husband’s hand. Meredith had broken down when Lexie had dragged her from Derek’s hospital bed for food. Mark had promised to stay with his friend and text them if there were any changes. That was when the older sister had told the younger one everything. Lexie was sure that if Mere hadn’t been close to exhaustion, she would have kept her secret hidden. 

“Shit,” he growled. “Big Grey’s residency is over next year, maybe we can convince them to get the hell out of that damn city." 

Lexie slept, held securely in her husband’s arms, most of the way back to Boston. Sloan glared holes into the back of the seat in front of him, trying to keep his anger at bay. Meredith had lost a baby. Derek was shot in the chest and only survived because a resident was practically a savant in cardiac surgery. Alex Karev was still in the ICU, but when Mark stopped by, he was lucid and they were getting ready to move him to a regular floor. 

Miranda Bailey and Cristina Yang, two of the strongest women he knew were wide-eyed and confused. He knew Yang’s story but Bailey wasn’t talking and he didn’t think he wanted to hear what had happened to the small spunky surgeon to upset her so badly. Richard Weber kept looking around the hospital, as if there was something he could do to make the day start over and have none of it happen as it did. 

Only one person that Mark talked to didn’t seem to be affected by the tragedy that had cost so much. That person was Callie Torrez. Just thinking about what happened made him feel dirty. 

Callie had thrown her arms around him, thrilled to see him. Her one concern was for herself. She wanted him to be a sperm donor. She and her partner Arizona wanted a child and Torrez wanted him to be the father. 

“I don’t think my wife would be to happy about that.” He remembered Lexie wanting to be the only women who had his children. “Besides, we go back tomorrow.” He was trying to be polite. There had been a time when she had been a friend. 

“What Little Grey doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.” Callie had bumped shoulders with him and winked. “It would be like old times, you and me, we were a hot couple.” 

“Get-out-of-my-sight.” He gritted his teeth to keep from shouting at her. It was clear she wasn’t looking for a simple donation. She wanted sex. Who did she think he was? 

Oh, Mark, please.” She pouted and rocked back and forth on her toes. “I’m ovulating.” 

“Get the hell out of my sight, Torrez,” he growled. 

“I never thought I see the day Mark Sloan was pussy whipped, especially by Little Grey.” She shot back, angry and embarrassed. 

“You’re more of a fool than I thought you were.” He shook his head and walked away. 

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_January 2012_

Much to Lexie’s surprise, she missed a period. She was almost two weeks late before she realized that something was amiss. A flu epidemic had swept through the hospital, knocking medical staff over like tenpins. Everyone had worked extra shifts. Calendars and schedules were tossed out the window. By the time she realized she was late, she very late. The first thing she did was have blood drawn, not wanting to trust a home pregnancy test. 

“Jenny, is Mark in his office and does he have a few minutes.” She called Jen Kirkwood her husband’s office assistant. It had taken very little work on Sloan’s part to convince Kirkwood to move back east. She was thrilled to sail her boat, the Windswept, through the Panama Canal again and she didn’t like the Pacific Northwest as much as she had thought she would. 

“He has surgery in half an hour. I’ll let him know you’re on your way up.” Jenny smiled as she spoke. She really liked Dr. Grey. She thought the young doctor was the best thing that could have happened to her boss and was glad he’d seen it too. 

On the way to Sloan’s private office, Lexie realized that Mark had never answered her question about wanting children. They had gotten sidetracked by a marathon session of making love and then exhausted, had slept. On waking she’d had to run to the hospital and he had a meeting that took him out of town for two days. Then it was Christmas and they had never gotten back to the conversation. 

“Mark,” Lex stuck her head around his door. 

“Come on in, Sweetheart.” He was just unbuttoning his shirt to change into scrubs. “Did you come to help me undress?” 

“Uh…no.” She nibbled her lip unsure if just prior to surgery was a good time to tell him, but knew she couldn’t put it off. 

“What’s wrong?” He could see it in her eyes that something was bothering her. “Babe, we’ll deal with whatever it is together and we’ll be fine.” He put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. 

“I’m late, almost two weeks. I’m never late, ever, so I had a blood test.” She explained. It took him a moment to change gears and understand what she was saying. “I mean…we…uh…didn’t plan this… I still don’t even know if you want children.” She sniffed trying not to cry. “But…I’m…we’re pregnant.” 

A surge of happiness hit Mark directly in the chest, until he saw Lexie’s damp eyes. “You don’t want the baby?” They’d never finished their discussion almost a year ago. Lex still had her residency to finish and having a child now, would add to her already overloaded schedule. 

“Of course I do. It is a baby that we made.” She rubbed her still flat tummy. “But we didn’t plan this and I know you have doubts.” They’d been careful, but she’d had problems with the pill and they’d switched to a diaphragm in the fall. 

“Sweetheart, all of the best things that have happened to us have been a surprise, why should this be any different?” He ran his hand over her belly in wonder. “Of course I want this baby.” He grinned, so happy he thought he might burst. 

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_May 17th 2012_

Lexie was excited, not only was she six months pregnant, but Meredith had accepted a fellowship at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. Derek had been offered a position of full professor at Harvard’s Neurosurgical research department. He would be doing surgery at Mass General, but have a research lab on the University’s Campus.

Her sister, brother-in-law and their adopted daughter had been to Boston house hunting and found a lovely place not far from Mark and Lexie. It wasn’t the massive structure overlooking the Sound that Derek had built for his wife, but it was an elegant period townhouse with a small yard and walking distance from Boston Commons.

Derek and Meredith had one last massive case and then they were heading east. A medevac flight was bringing in conjoined twins and their parents from a small hospital in Idaho. The hospital had tried to convince the doctors at Seattle Grace to come to them, so their doctors could publish the case, but Owen Hunt, the new Chief, had stood firm. The paperwork to obtain out of state licenses and privileges would have been a nightmare. As he pointed out to his counterpart at the Idaho hospital, the newborn twins would be starting first grade before all the I’s were dotted and T’s crossed. The surgeries would take place in Seattle or Idaho would have to find other MD's.

Meredith was happy to leave behind the ghost of Ellis Grey and make a fresh start that was all hers. Derek was excited about the new challenges his position would bring. It would also allow him to be closer to his family, but far enough away, that his sisters weren’t living in his back pocket. 

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_August 1st, 2012_

Lexie gave birth to their first child. They had a girl and named her Susan Jennifer Sloan after Lex’s mom and the woman who had worked for Mark for years, Jennifer Kirkwood.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_May 2014_

Lexie completed her residency in Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. Her last year had been spent with special emphasis on breast reconstruction. She wanted to focus her practice on working with women and men recovering from breast cancer. It was a much more demanding type of breast surgery than an enlargement or lift, but she found it fascinating and rewarding.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_April 2nd 2015_

Mark and Lexie had their second child, this time a boy. They named him Dylan Mark Sloan. It was the reverse of Mark’s first and middle name. Mark insisted it was for Bob Dylan, one of his favorite singers and Lexie said it was for Dylan Thomas one of her favorite poets.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time moved on. Mark established himself firmly in Boston. He discovered he was as good a leader, as a surgeon. As Chairman of Plastics and Reconstructive Surgery at Mass General, he did all he could to recruit top level surgeons and researchers. His department flourished under his care.

Dr. Lexie Grey, as she was known in professional circles, but Sloan, in personal situations, became the go to doctor for women and men who needed reconstructive surgery after breast cancer. Dr. Grey was politically active on state and federal levels. She campaigned to improve the legislation that required insurance coverage for breast reconstruction for all those diagnosed with breast cancer. She felt strongly that correcting the disfigurement from lifesaving surgery was an important step in improving the emotional health of the patient.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life was good to the Sloans and the Shepherds. Their children grew-up happy and content; their families thrived and became closer than ever; and their careers flourished. Mark often looked back to his crazy days in New York and the beginning of his time in Seattle and wondered what could have made him act so irresponsibly. Then he would look at his wife, waving at him as she led her group of residents through the hospital, or at home when she looked up from a book with eyes only for him and he would decide that he wouldn’t change a thing about his past. If he did, it might not have led to her, and their life in Boston. One small difference and it could all have gone to hell.

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_May 3rd 2035_

Susan Jennifer Sloan married a young architect, named Chris James Jennings. The wedding was held at Mark and Lexie’s second home in The Hamptons. At the reception, the Sloans danced, as if they never planned on letting go of each other.

“Ya know, Sweetheart,” Mark said to Lexie. “There are some couples that just look like they will always be together. That’s us.” He kissed her forehead and kept on dancing.

“I think you’re right.” She smiled up at him. “When I think back to that year in Seattle, all the bad, and how much I resented being there...” She shook her head in worry at how close she’d come to missing out on the best thing in her life. “I’m so glad I was there. I wouldn’t have found you otherwise.” She kissed his chin and admired how his salt and pepper hair was now brilliant silver. “I’m convinced that my mom led me to you,” Lexie whispered in his ear.

And they kept right on dancing, because they were meant to be. They were meant to be together forever.

**And they lived happily ever-after.**


End file.
